“So that’s a yes?” she asks with so much hopefulness in her eyes, I can’t help but nod. Her little body vibrates with excitement. “This is the best day ever.”
“It’s almost time,” Roger says from the doorway, looking stunning as always in his pristine and overpriced suit. “Are you ready?”
“One second,” I tell him before returning my full attention to Tate. I wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly. “I love you, Tate.”
“I love you too, Mommy,” she says before wiggling out of my arms and dashing to the door right past Roger.
The tears I’ve somehow held in start to fall, growing in intensity as the power and importance of her last words hit me.
“Oh shit. Don’t cry. You’re going to mess up your makeup.” Roger stalks toward me, pulling a tissue from the box sitting on the table near the doorway.
“Did you hear her?” My words come out garbled because my face is scrunched up in the worst ugly-cry expression ever. It’s not pretty, and I’m glad she waited to say those words until we were alone.
Roger nods. “Kid’s got timing.” He laughs as he bends down and hands me the tissue.
I press the soft cotton to my face, careful not to smear my makeup, which I’m sure is already running down my face. Roger reaches into his jacket and fishes out two envelopes.
“I have two letters for you today.”
I raise my eyebrows, and I know the floodgates are about to break wide open.
“One from your past and one from your future,” he says as he places them in my hand. “Take your time reading them. The people will wait.”
“Look at me,” I say through my tears, noticing the mascara all over the tissue.
“I’ll get Martin back here. He’s the best drag makeup artist in Chicago. He can fix your face.”
I laugh and cry at the same time, tightening my hold on the envelopes.
“Breathe, Tilly.”
I inhale, trying to calm myself down, even though there’s no use. Whatever’s inside these envelopes will undoubtedly do nothing to make the tears stop falling.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Roger pats my hands before walking toward the door.
I stare up at him and take another deep breath. When he leaves, I glance down at both men’s handwriting, trying to prepare myself for the emotional ass-kicking I’m about to receive.
I place Angelo’s letter in my lap before carefully opening the envelope from Mitchell.
Tilly,
This isn’t a goodbye. A love like ours will never have an end, existing like the greatest galaxies in the universe, but on different paths.
Today’s your wedding day. Something I thought about when I made arrangements in case something unexpected happened to me. I knew you’d grieve my absence, close yourself off from the world, but I hoped Roger would help keep you going, reminding you of all the reasons life is so wonderful.
If you’re reading this letter, you’ve found love again. I no longer have to worry about you being alone. I can finally rest, knowing you’ve found someone to love you like you deserve to be loved.
Just know I’m happy. Today should be filled with celebration and not sorrow. Stop mourning what you lost and look forward to all you’ve gained.
We’re lucky to have one great love in our lifetime. I was blessed the day I found you. But you’ve found something rare again. Hold on to that. Cherish it. Give your all and remember the preciousness of each moment.
I’ll be with you today and always. You may not see me or feel me by your side, but I’ll watch over you until the day you take your last breath.
As you take the first steps down the aisle, look to the future and not the past. Let go of the hurt, bury the sadness and grief deep, and move forward to your future.
Live life well.
Be fierce.
