Me: Do you think we’re moving too fast?
I tap my finger against the side of the phone and stand near the door, waiting for his reply. Roger’s the one person who has kept me grounded and sane for the last five years. If shit’s off, he’ll set me straight.
Roger: Absolutely not. There’s no timetable for shit like this. Just let yourself be happy.
Have I been denying myself all these years? That’s what I get out of his text. Maybe I have, thinking somehow I’d be betraying Mitchell and the vows we said to each other. With Angelo, there’s no fear or hesitation.
Me: Is he my rebound?
Roger: Stop questioning everything, Til. I don’t like many people, but Angelo’s solid. He’s exactly who you need.
I read his message, feeling the exact same way. I don’t know why I have doubts. Maybe I feel like I’m meant to be miserable, punished for some unknown cosmic reason. Why else would God take my husband? I think it’s a question every person left behind asks themselves, but we never find the answer.
Me: I think I’m falling in love with him.
Roger: Then fall.
Those two simple words lift a huge weight off my shoulders. Roger’s blessing means everything to me. No one has been there for me except him. He held my hand when I needed him. He wiped away my tears when I was inconsolable. He made sure I stayed alive when all I wanted to do was wither away and die.
I tuck my phone into my coat pocket and lock up the shop, ready to face Angelo and the ladies.
As I walk past the first set of windows, I search for the girls, but a couple embracing catches my eye.
I back up a few steps, shocked at what I see.
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and I feel my stomach sink.
Angelo’s holding another woman in his arms. He’s not just hugging her but embracing her. He whispers in her ear, and she smiles, wrapping her arms tighter around his body.
They’re not strangers, that much is clear.
I stand outside the bar, staring through the window, unable to move. My world is crashing down for the second time in my life.
When he pulls his head back and kisses her cheek, lingering a little too long to be strangers, I gasp. But when she touches his face, staring into his eyes like she’s loved him her entire life, I know I’ve been had.
“Fuck,” I whisper, feeling like a fool.
I believed I was the one, but now there’s nothing except darkness again.
22
Angelo
Michelle glances up at me. “I’m so happy for you, Angelo.” She wraps her arms tightly around my middle and sighs.
“Thanks, Michelle. I never thought I’d feel this way again.”
I can see the sadness she tries to hide. “I knew we’d never work. I love you, though. Always have and always will.”
“I love you too, Michelle.” How could I not love her? She’s been a part of my life since we were little kids. Although the spark was there, I didn’t have the deep need to make her mine. It’s unexplainable, but there was too much history between us to make it work.
“I met someone too,” she says as she grips my side. “He’s a big shot producer for a cable network.”
“Does he treat you well?”
She nods. “So far.”
“If he doesn’t, I’ll fly out to LA and kick his ass.”
