“Fine. I don’t walk away when they have hair thicker than the densest forest. They can happily suck my dick, but I’m not returning the favor.”
“You’re a pig.” I fling a glob of frosting in his direction.
“Babe.” He laughs. “A pig wouldn’t care what a man has going on down there. They’d suck him off like he contains the last drop of water on earth. But me.” He touches his chest. “I’m a cock connoisseur, and I’ll only put the best in my mouth.”
“Fuck. You’re sick.”
“What was the last cock you saw besides my brother’s?”
I busy myself, avoiding answering that one because Roger would flip his lid if I told him the truth. There’s no way I’m divulging my sex life before Mitchell. No way in hell.
“Tilly,” he says. “The last cock.”
God, it’s so embarrassing. I can barely bring myself to even think about the answer, let alone voice it.
“Wait.” He hops off the table and stalks toward me, stopping just a few feet away. “Don’t say it.”
“I’m not.” I stare down at the blue frosting turning in the bowl.
“Did you see another cock besides Mitchell’s?”
“I’ve seen plenty.”
He puts his hands down on the steel island, and I can feel the weight of his stare without even looking up. “How many cocks have you seen?”
“Tons,” I say, way overstating the true reality.
“In person?”
“Well, yeah.” I mean, I saw them with my own eyes, but they may have been on the computer or television. Mitchell’s is the only dick I’ve actually seen live and in living color.
“Oh fuck. You were a virgin before Mitchell, weren’t you?”
I glance up, narrowing my gaze. “What’s so wrong with that?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a handy or two to some poor schmuck in high school?”
I shake my head.
“Thirty years old and only one cock.” He says it like it’s the most unbelievable thing he’s ever heard.
“Yep.”
“Do you remember what to do?”
I drop the spatula in the mixing bowl and hang my head, trying not to laugh or cry. I’m on the verge of both, but I can’t seem to figure out which one best suits how I feel.
“I think I remember my way around a dick, Roger. They’re not that complicated.”
“True.”
“Plus, your brother never seemed to complain.”
“Eh,” Roger mutters. “When you love someone, nothing else matters.”
“Are you saying I was a bad lay?”
“I’m saying you can do no wrong. Calm your shit, woman. Just promise me you’ll be prepared for your date.”
