I shake my head. “I’m not ready for that step.”
“Your armor is hairy legs?”
I stick my leg out, running my fingers across the light stubble. “They’re not hairy.”
“They’re not smooth either. Shave them. Leave everything else if you need a safeguard for keeping your newfound virginity.”
“Fine.” I snatch my dress and bra from his hands.
“If it gets hot and heavy, you may regret your decision.”
“Men have it so fucking easy,” I mumble.
“Hey. We manscape,” Roger says before I close the door to the bathroom.
“Manscape. That’s laughable.”
I stare at myself in the mirror, wondering how far I’d be willing to go with Angelo if I had the chance. No one has touched me in so long. Today, when I fell and he caught me, I didn’t do much to get out of his arms. It felt way too good to have a pair of strong arms surrounding me. I’d almost forgotten how comforting that can be.
Thirty minutes later, I emerge from the bathroom with my hair pulled into a tight bun and the black sweater dress showing off my girls thanks to the help of the push-up bra I typically save for special occasions.
Roger sits up a little straighter on my bed and places his phone in his lap. He whistles. “If there’s any hope for this man, he’ll be on you like white on rice.”
“You’re ridiculous.” I wave Roger off.
“If I were straight, I’d be all over you.”
“That wouldn’t be awkward or anything.” I snort. “Red lipstick or clear lip gloss?” I hold up two tubes.
Even the smallest decision is giving me trouble. Red lipstick is usually my go-to, but with Angelo, I don’t want to come off as a sex kitten looking to get laid. I want the classic beauty without the whorish undertones. I figure the dress already has me halfway to the hooker finish line, and the last thing I want to do is bust through the red tape right onto easy street.
“Red lips are always a must on occasions like this.”
“It’s a dinner as friends,” I remind him, even though I’m dressed like I’m ready to pounce on my prey and get busy.
“I’m sure it’s easier for you both to lie to yourselves with that line.”
I wonder if that’s what we’re doing, but there’s no time to dissect whatever that is this evening.
As soon as there’s a knock at the door, my stomach knots. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe I’m not ready. No amount of coaching or convincing myself that I am can make it so.
Breathe, Tilly. Breathe.
“It’s time.” Roger rolls off the bed, looking just as good as he did when he got here. That’s the thing about men. They always look the same, and I hate them a little bit for it too. “Too late to back out. Do you want me to call you in a few hours as an out?”
I shake my head, but the option is tempting. “I have to grow up someday, and I don’t think I need an exit strategy with Angelo.”
Roger grabs my shoulders and squeezes as he stares me in the eyes. “You can do this, Tilly. You deserve this. Allow yourself to enjoy tonight. You’re still here and alive, but now you need to start acting on it. Regret’s a bitch to live with.”
I’ve had enough regret to last a lifetime. The last thing I need is more. I need to start taking control of my life and allow myself to indulge in things I’ve abstained from for years.
“Stay in here. I don’t want Angelo to get the wrong idea. Let yourself out.”
Roger nods. “Have fun. I expect a full rundown tomorrow.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I give him two quick kisses on each cheek. “Wish me luck.”
“You don’t need luck with tits like those, Til.”
