“I know I’m pretty fanfuckingtastic, but I’m not the one. She’ll fall into your lap when you least expect it,” I said as I nuzzled my face against his chest.
“What about you?” he asked, kissing the top of my head.
“What about me?” I looked at him.
“When are you going to find someone to love?”
“Aw, baby. I have my family. I don’t need anyone else.”
“We all do, Iz. When are you going to stop lying to yourself?”
I winked at him, laying my head back down against his skin as I twirled his dark chest hair in my fingers. “I have as much love as I can handle. I don’t want to be tied down. I’m happy with my life. The last thing I am is lonely.”
“Liar.” He laughed, pulling me flush against his side. “Can we just sleep like this tonight?”
“Snuggle?” I asked, wanting to run out of the room.
“I just want to feel close to someone tonight. Please, Iz. I’m so comfortable like this. I don’t want to sleep on the couch.”
I bit my lip, feeling shitty about always doing that to him. Having him sleep in my bed always felt too intimate for me to handle. “Fine,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t regret it later. “Don’t get used to it.”
“Thanks,” he whispered, burrowing his nose in my hair. “Night.”
“Night,” I mumbled as I closed my eyes.
An overwhelming sense of guilt came over me as I lay in his arms. Flash loved me, and had voiced it many times over the years. I’d always set him straight. Tonight felt different, though. It was as if I’d had a knife and jammed it in his heart. I felt like such a cunt for telling him I wouldn’t love him—not in that way, at least.
We’d sworn that it wouldn’t be any more than a physical friendship. He’d promised me years ago that he wouldn’t fall in love with me. Sam had given me that amazing smile while speaking the words I’d wanted to hear but meaning none of them. I felt the end near for us, because I couldn’t handle having to kill his heart and hurt him every time we were together.
Hurting someone, no matter the reason, sucks—especially when they’re a friend. Someone who has been by your side and had your back since you were a little girl is an important person. He meant the world to me, but I could never settle down and spend my life with Flash.
I needed to let him down easy, and that wasn’t my strong suit. I always spoke my mind, and sometimes I came off as brash or unkind.
I curled into his side, letting my old friend drift to sleep while I mulled over my future without Flash weaving himself in and out of my life through the months. I needed to move on. More importantly, he needed to move on and find himself someone to love.
As long as it wasn’t me.
Chapter 2
“Morning, beautiful,” Flash whispered in my ear as I hugged my pillow, facing away from him.
“Morning,” I said, groaning as I stretched.
I wasn’t a morning person. I’d slept like shit with Flash in my bed. He’d been a hog and snored no matter how much I’d elbowed him to move. The noise just kept coming. I’d thought about pinching his nose, but I’d also thought that’d earn me an elbow to the face by accident. So I’d covered my head with my pillow, faced away from him, and prayed for him to shut the fuck up.
“Sleep well?” he asked, stroking my arm lightly as goose bumps broke out across my skin.
“Ugh,” I whined, turning toward him. “No.”
“I slept like a fuckin’ rock.” He smiled, brushing the hair out of my eyes.
“Yeah, I know,” I mumbled.
His slow blinks and sappy smile made my stomach turn. He wasn’t staring at me like a piece of meat or a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of thing. His face screamed that he loved me, and it freaked me the fuck out.
“So, what do you want to do today?” he asked, his eyes searching my face.
I bit the inside of my lip. “It’s Thanksgiving, Flash. I’m going to spend the day with my family.”
