“I know.” I sighed as a knot formed in my stomach.
“Did you want me to grab some flowers for you?” she asked, stopping at the door.
“No. I’ll do it,” I told her, shaking my head. “Why don’t you leave early today? There’s no reason for you to work on the weekends with me, Cara.”
“I like spending time with you, Race. You know that. My kids are grown, my husband passed, and I can’t just sit at home all day. I’d go crazy.”
“Well, I love having you around, Cara. You’re more than just my secretary.”
“I know, kid. I know. I think you should take the day off too.” She held the door open as she balanced the stack of files in her arms.
I glanced over my desk, realizing I didn’t have anything else to do. “I’ll head out soon.”
“See you Monday,” she said before leaving.
“Monday,” I repeated, grabbing my purse and following her into the lobby.
Today wasthe anniversary of my father’s death.
Where did fifteen years go?
Even though time had passed, the soul-crushing sadness of losing my dad hadn’t diminished. Every day I thought about him. There were times when I missed him more than others, but there wasn’t a moment that passed that I didn’t long to be in his arms.
Tears fell from my eyes, plopping on the grass as I stood in front of his grave. “Daddy,” I whispered as I collapsed into the grass. “I’m so sorry,” I wailed, covering my face. “I should’ve come sooner.”
As each year passed, I came to visit less and less. The guilt I experienced when I came sucked the life out of me. I couldn’t spend my weekends here, feeling the weight of his death on my shoulders.
He had been my entire world, and the only one in my family who had shown me unconditional love. He’d brought me everywhere with him, much to my mother’s dismay. We’d secretly snuck to the racetrack on weekends, enjoying our time out of the city together.
My dad had been my best friend. There was nothing I’d loved more than being his little girl. When he died, a piece of me was buried with him.
My mother grew more hateful with each passing day. By the time I’d gone to college, we’d stopped speaking. Really, I’d stopped talking to her because I couldn’t take her bullshit anymore. Somehow she’d come to the conclusion that it was my fault my father had died.
He died instantly one day after work when he’d come to pick me up from school. She’d said that his need to make me happy by not requiring me to take the school bus was the cause. Not the semi that had plowed through the back of his SUV, but me. In her mind, I was the one who killed him.
After placing the flowers on his grave, I pushed myself up and kissed his headstone. “I love you, Daddy,” I whispered, another wave of sobs breaking free.
I would’ve given anything to hear him call my name again.
I knew loss.
It was part of me.
My father was my first love—and the first one to leave me behind.
Everyone left me.
I couldn’t let myself feel anything for Morgan. I didn’t think I could take another heartbreak without losing myself completely in the blackness.
Chapter Thirteen
Family Dinner
Morgan
“How’s work going?” Uncle Sal asked.
“Good. Good.”
