We’d been talkingfor a week now. We worked and messaged each other every moment we could, usually falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. I wanted to know everything about this man.
The manwhore title still fit him perfectly, but I’d learned he was more complex. Even passionate and romantic, but his heart had been destroyed, and I needed to know why.
Me: Can I ask you something? If you don’t want to answer, I understand.
Kayden: Shoot.
Me: What happened in your relationships to make you swear them off forever?
I hit send and wished I could’ve erased the message before he read it.
Kayden: It’s not an easy answer. I’ve been divorced for a long time, and I finally fell in love again four years ago. We were like oil and water, and it ended horribly.
I wanted to believe in the fairy tale, but I didn’t know many people who found it and stayed married. It seemed like everyone I knew was either single or going through a divorce.
Me: Twice and you’re out?
Kayden: My ex-girlfriend, Lisa, ripped my heart out, and I don’t think I could survive going through it again.
I knew the feeling, but it didn’t stop me from still trying.
Me: Heartache can make you feel that way. You’re too young to give up on it, though. And really, you can’t stop love—sometimes, it just happens.
Kayden: Not if I have my way. I’m not looking for love, and I stay away from any situation where it’s even a possibility.
Why was I bothered by his answer? I furrowed my brows and took a deep breath because I needed to get my shit together.
Me: I’m sorry. You’ve just picked the wrong ones. You shouldn’t give up on love, just your taste in women.
Kayden: Maybe, but for now, it’s easier for me. I work seven days a week and keep myself busy. I’m happier than I’ve been in years, Sophia.
Me: I don’t believe it, but you can keep lying to yourself.
Kayden: Tell me about your past relationships or your current one.
I bit my lower lip, thinking of a way to sum up my love life. There wasn’t much to tell, though. Although I only had one major heartache, even my single life had been as dull as my married one.
Me: They’ve all been passionless, an endless sea of navy blue.
Kayden: Can I ask you a couple questions? It only seems fair since you’ve been questioning me.
Palm meet forehead. He always answered my questions; how could I say no? I swallowed hard, trying to figure a way out of it, but nothing came to me. Hopefully, he kept the questions simple and short.
Me: Go ahead—fair’s fair.
Kayden: Did they hold you every night and kiss you each day?
Me: No. Does a kiss good-bye count?
I didn’t want to admit to the mediocrity in my love life, but I didn’t have anything to lose either.
Kayden: There’s problem number one. Do you like to be held?
Me: Yes, but guys just don’t seem into it.
Kayden: Maybe the guys you’ve been with. I fucking love it. One thing I miss about not being in a relationship. Okay, so what about kissing? Why only a kiss good-bye? I mean, that’s how you kiss a friend.
I tapped my thumbs against my phone, thinking of how to answer. I always wanted more, but the men in my life didn’t. The lack of passion was why I kept my nose stuck in books.
