“You didn’t make me mad at all, Sophia. I just want you to know how I feel, what I feel for you. For the first time in a long time, I look forward to waking up. I check my phone and message you before I even crawl out of bed.”
My stomach filled with butterflies—a feeling Kayden often gave me. “It’s the same for me, Kayden. I only want to make sure I don’t become just another girl to you. I have to think about it.”
“I don’t want another notch in my bedpost. I want to spend time with you. I want to show you this amazing city. You could use a little fun in your life—wipe away that navy blue.”
Navy blue… I’d stopped seeing Gary weeks ago. I couldn’t pretend to be interested in him anymore. I’d rather be home talking with Kayden more than spending the night with Gary. My fantasies and daydreams of Kayden were far better than anything Gary could deliver.
“I’ll keep my hands to myself. I’ll be a gentleman. Come on, just for a weekend.”
“So, you don’t want to have sex with me?” I covered my mouth, shocked that I actually had the nerve to ask him that.
“Fuck yes, I do,” he said, causing my core to pulse. “I plan on it. You won’t be able to resist me.”
He was so full of himself, but it didn’t mean his words were a lie.
“Well, it’s nice to know your self-esteem is still intact.”
“What’s stopping you?”
What was stopping me? Fear, mostly. For weeks, I’d been trying to live outside my comfort zone but had failed miserably.
“I’m not used to sharing, Kayden. I’ve never slept with anyone who I haven’t been in some sort of a relationship with, and I need to decide if it’s something I can do.”
“I haven’t seen any other women since I started talking with you. I couldn’t do it. You’re all I think about, morning until night. I even dream about you.”
“Oh,” I whispered, realizing he felt the same as me. “I thought when you disappeared, sometimes for an hour, that you were with someone.”
“Baby, I need way more than an hour. What kind of men have you been with?” He chuckled.
Jesus. I loved when he said such naughty shit to me. I wanted to believe him, I wanted to buy in to the fantasy, but I didn’t know if I could. Everything was perfect just as it was, and if I went there and he sucked… If we were a disaster, I wouldn’t even have our phone calls and texts left to look forward to anymore.
“I’ll let you know.”
“If you don’t come here, I’m coming there.”
“Okay. We’ll see if you can find me first,” I teased.
* * *
For a solid week, I thought about nothing else but spending time with Kayden. The positives outweighed the negatives. I couldn’t deny the pull he had over me. I needed to act on my feelings or break off whatever this was because he was becoming a distraction to any possible happy future that might be waiting on me that didn’t involve him.
My heart ached at the thought of him not being in my life. He’d become a fixture, a necessity to me like the air I breathed and consumed my days in such a short time.
Kayden: Well, since you can’t seem to make up your mind, I came to you.
Me: What?
My stomach dropped.
Kayden: I told you last week, if you didn’t come to me, then I’d come to you.
Me: You’re lying. You aren’t here.
I looked out my bedroom window, glancing in both directions, but I saw no one.
Me: I don’t see you.
Kayden: Look out the front door.
