“I’on need you reformed,” he said. “I just need you real.”
For a moment, I just looked up at him, loving the feeling of my too tight chest and the things his eyes were telling me. I hugged him, then sighed as he hugged me back, holding me like he’d never let go.
“Come on. Before I change my mind about this whole growth thing,” I said eventually.
He held out his free hand. I slid my fingers into his. His grip tightened, warm and sure. We walked back toward our daughter, cocoa in hand, under strings of lights that illuminated the Emancipation night.
I never thoughtI’d see Mrs. Amanda at my parents’ table again, fussing with my grandma Sarabi about somebody’s potato salad while my daughter tried to sneak an extra roll, but that’s what Christmas did in Emancipation. It turned the impossible into regular life.
Tytus and Mama went all out. The house smelled like every holiday I’d missed when I was on the other side of the world. Ham, turkey, dressing, fried chicken, meat loaf, collard greens, mac and cheese, a million other sides, about 469 desserts and something with cranberries that I was suspicious of. Laughter bounced off the high ceilings, kids ran through the hall, and the tree in the corner was doing its best impression of the one on the hill. That thang was laid.
I stood in the doorway for a second, just watching.
Aziza sat at the little cousins’ table with Zoriah and the rest of the swarm, snowflake barrettes in her hair, cheeks all round and happy. She laughed at something Braeden said as he made their ginger ale fizz on purpose. My daddy’s face looked ten years younger every time he glanced at her.
Kyleigh stood by the window talking to Mama and Aunt Ola Kate, dress a rich deep green that did something disrespectful to my self-control. She’d worn her hair in her natural, tight, curly-coils. They framed her face soft and wild, like she’d been kissed good all night. Which she had. By me. Yeah. That look on her face? I did that.
She must have felt me staring, because she looked over. Our eyes caught. She gave me that small, private smile she did not give this town, the one that saidI know you and I still like you anyway. My heart sped up for a second. I didn’t think it would ever stop doing that when I looked at her. I walked in before anybody could accuse me of lurking.
“Boy, grab these rolls. You standing there like you the guest of honor,” Mama said.
“I am the guest of honor. My baby here.”
“Your baby and mine. Lord, she look just like you did at that age. Same forehead. That’s a big forehead.” Mama took a breath and wiped at the corner of her eye.
Aziza perked up. “My forehead is perfect, thank you.”
Laughter went around the table. I bent to kiss the top of her head.
“It is, baby. Perfectly big.”
She gasped. “Daddy!”
“Y’all leave that baby alone,” Mrs. Amanda cut in. “Foreheads run on every side of her family. We all blessed and we know it.”
She sat near the head of the table, pearls on, sweater with a little cardinal embroidered on the front. Serena sat next to her,Max resting by her feet, hoping someone dropped food. That dog had already broken at least three house rules and earned zero consequences. Mr. Benton stood near the drink station like security, refilling cups, eyes on everything. That man had a history.
“Mr. Benton, you off the clock,” I told him.
He sniffed. “Security has no holidays, sir.”
Kyleigh rolled her eyes. “He is not wrong.”
I moved toward her and wrapped an arm around her waist, loving the feel of her plush body against my side. “You good?”
She glanced around the packed dining room. My people. Her people.Ourpeople. “I’m still waiting to wake up.”
“Tell me if it starts feeling like too much. We can go breathe on the porch. Or in the pantry. Or upstairs. We can definitely go upstairs.”
She gave me a side-eye. “You not slick. You just listed three places you already tried to kiss me.”
“And was extremely successful, thank you.”
Aunt Ola Kate snorted. “You two gon’ flirt all through grace or you gon’ let us bless this food?”
I loved the blush that warmed Kyleigh’s pretty brown face. We shut up. Mostly. Daddy stood, cleared his throat, and everybody quieted. He looked at the long tables shoved together. Family everywhere.
“Alright. I ain’t gon’ preach. Alayna already did that at the tree lighting.”
