1
DANTE
Honestly, I don’t think I could accurately count the number of times I’ve been called on to put my family’s needs and desires before my own.
That’s the thing about being the eldest son in a family like mine.My fate was sealed the moment I drew my first breath, and the doctor confirmed my mama had given birth to a boy.I guess from Papa’s perspective, it was like puzzle pieces sliding into place, clicking together, expanding the bigger picture of the Santoro family and our future.I’m sure he breathed a little easier once he learned he had his son to carry on his legacy and take the reins once his hands were too gnarled and weak to hold on any longer.
So I’m used to biting my tongue until I’m sure my teeth are going to meet.Squeezing my fists so tight, I have to consciously loosen them one finger at a time once my knuckles start to ache.That’s how it is.When you’re in a position of power, the way I am, you learn to take the good with the bad.You make sacrifices with everybody’s highest good in mind.
Somehow, none of that makes it easier to sit here with a blank look on my face after being informed of my engagement for the first time.
An engagement I had no involvement in, and an engagement to a stranger.
It would be bad enough getting news like this all at once if I were with Papa in his office.The two of us, man-to-man, laying our cards on the table.That alone would twist my stomach in knots and challenge my self-control.It might even make me question my real value around here.I might ask when I stopped being Papa’s son and instead became a pawn.
In the middle of my brother’s engagement dinner, on the other hand?With my cousins present, to say nothing of Emilia’s wide-eyed parents sitting at the other end of the table?The two of them are already a fish out of water scenario, and now they’re in the middle of Santoro family drama.It’s a calculated move on Papa’s end.He doesn’t want to face my immediate reaction and knows I’ll keep it together in mixed company.
There’s one thing I’m sure of, once the brief chorus of screams in my head goes silent, that I’m not the only one who’s been blindsided tonight.Mama is literally clutching her pearls while seated at the end of the table opposite Papa.
“A wedding?Before the end of the year?”she asks, repeating Papa’s statement like she thinks, or hopes, she misheard him.
His gentle laughter couldn’t possibly grate on my nerves worse than it does as he reclaims his chair at my right.“I might have misspoken a bit.We plan to hold the wedding as soon as possible.”
Because that makes it better?
My kid sister, Guilia, looks like she’s swallowed her tongue before staring at me with her mouth hanging open.Her dark eyes go as wide as saucers, and she takes a sharp breath, prepared to give her opinion before Mama clears her throat loudly.Our cousin, Cesco, sits to her right and shakes his head slightly.Not worth it, he says without speaking.
It’s my younger brother, Luca, whose narrow-eyed stare slices me from across the table, though, the way he leans back in his chair while his mouth twists in something between a smirk and a sympathetic frown.I would rather have him smirk at me.I don’t need his or anyone’s sympathy.
I also don’t need them looking at me like I’m some animal in a zoo, expecting me to explode, break down, or maybe even storm out of the room.Once the ice-cold shock wears off, I pick up my knife and fork and go back to the succulent roast beef sitting in a pool of gravy that’s going to congeal before much longer.Once this is over, I can talk to Papa, get a sense of what’s going on in his head, and understand why he didn’t consider coming to me directly before making this announcement.For now, control is key.Keeping a lid on my emotions or else risking them boiling over and scalding everyone in the room.
Bite after bite, but I don’t taste a thing.Papa tries to catch my eye more than once, probably annoyed that he didn’t get a better reaction.What was I supposed to do?Jump for damn joy?Instead, I cut off another bite of beef, which I then chew slowly, grinding the meat between my teeth and deliberately avoiding his gaze.The way blood is pumping through my veins, he wouldn’t want to hear anything I have to say right now anyway.
A wife.
By the time the year is over, I will have a wife.It doesn’t matter how many times I turn the thought over in my head, it doesn’t make any more sense than it did before.Why would he make this call without consulting me?Why keep me in the dark?
By the time the meal is over, I’m pretty sure of at least one thing—I’m not going to get any answers from him tonight.
“I must have eaten too much,” Papa groans, patting his stomach.“I think I’ll take a couple of antacids and head up to bed.If you will all excuse me.”
If it wasn’t for the health scare Luca and I observed recently, I might assume he’s lying to avoid dealing with me tonight.Not that he’s a coward, but I can imagine him deciding to avoid listening to my complaints by any means necessary.He’s never had patience for people who complain, especially not me.The head of the Santoro family is supposed to be above such things.
“Get your rest,mi amor,” Mama urges from her chair, wearing a look of concern she can’t hide.All the more reason to give Papa a reprieve, if only for tonight.I can bombard him with questions tomorrow.
I’m sure Papa’s chair is still warm by the time my younger brother runs out of patience and leans in slightly, his voice lowered.“I can talk to him if you want.Get an idea where his head is right now.”
Luca.Fucking thorn in my side.
He and his fiancée, sitting next to him, gaze locked on me.She is a big part of this.It didn’t hit me until now, witnessing her surprise and discomfort.If it weren’t for her and Luca’s stubborn determination to keep her in his life, the war between our family and the Vitalis wouldn’t have blown up as violently as it did.A hotshot detective looking to prove herself, wanting to wipe out the mafia or some similarly naïve bullshit.
Nobody wanted him keeping her around, myself most of all.I’m not going to sit back and rewrite history now that she’s more or less part of the family and wearing Mom’s ring.Of course, she is, because Luca gets to break every imaginable rule and still come out of it with everything he wants.It doesn’t matter how many sacrifices the rest of us had to make, how many lives were disrupted or even lost once everything exploded.He still gets to sit beside the woman he loves, still gets to plan a wedding with the woman he stubbornly held onto despite everything going to shit around him.
While I’m given no choice but to fall in line anddo as I’m told.
At least I have the slight comfort of knowing I unwittingly hijacked the happy occasion of their engagement dinner.Cold comfort, a little petty, but I’m not capable of being charitable tonight.
Pride won’t let me reveal too much of what’s going on in my head.Somehow, I manage to wipe my mouth smoothly instead of balling up the linen napkin and shoving it down his throat the way I see myself doing in my head.“I don’t need you to go to bat for me, little brother,” I tell him.
