"Mama, I don't want him to go."
"I know, baby. I don't either." I sit beside her and pull her into my lap. She's getting so big—three and a half years old already. Soon she won't fit in my lap anymore. "But sometimes we have to be brave, even when things are hard."
"I don't want to be brave. I just want Daddy to stay."
"Me too, baby. Me too."
She cries against my shoulder and I let her, stroking her hair, whispering soothing nonsense. Through the window, I can see Lupo pacing in the yard, his phone to his ear.
He's talking to Ciro. Making it official. Arranging his return to Naples. To his old life. To violence and power and everything that might take him away from us permanently.
After a few minutes, he comes back inside. His face is grim. "They'll be here in forty-five minutes."
Forty-five minutes. That's all we have left.
"Okay." I stand, still holding Elena. "I'll make you some food to take."
"You don't have to—"
"I'm making you food." My voice is sharp. "Let me do this one thing."
He nods and reaches for Elena. "Come here. Come sit with me."
She goes to him willingly, wrapping her arms around his neck. He carries her to the living room and sits on the old sofa, settling her in his lap. She curls against his chest, her thumb in her mouth. Something she only does when she's very upset.
I go to the kitchen and start moving mechanically. Bread, cheese, some of the dried figs. I wrap it all in a cloth, my hands shaking.
This is really happening. In less than an hour, he'll be gone.
I make coffee. Strong and black, the way he likes it. Pour it into a thermos for his trip. Add the food bundle to a small bag.
Then I just stand there, gripping the edge of the counter, trying to breathe.
I can hear Lupo's voice from the other room, low and gentle, talking to Elena. Telling her about how brave she is. How proud he is of her. How much he's going to miss her.
Every word is a knife in my chest.
I force myself to move. Walk to the living room. Elena has fallen into an exhausted sleep against Lupo's chest, her face blotchy and tear-stained.
"She cried herself out," he says quietly.
"She'll be devastated when she wakes up and you're gone."
He looks down at her, his hand smoothing her hair. "I'm sorry. For all of this. For—"
"Don't." I set the bag down by the door. "There's food. Coffee. It's not much, but—"
"Thank you."
We stand there in terrible silence, the minutes ticking by. Elena sleeps on, oblivious. Lupo holds her like he's trying to memorize the weight of her in his arms.
"I should go to the barn," he finally says. "Get the gun. I can't leave it here."
"Okay."
He starts to shift Elena, trying not to wake her, but I stop him. "Let me take her."
I lift her carefully from his arms. She stirs but doesn't wake, just makes a small sound and settles against me. Lupo stands, and for a moment we're close enough to touch.
