He gives me five. Five more minutes of pretending that this is just another morning. That he's not leaving. That our family isn't about to be ripped apart.
Then Elena's voice carries from her room, bright and happy, singing to herself, and the moment shatters.
I pull away from Lupo, immediately cold without his warmth. I grab my nightgown from the floor, pull it on. "I'll get her. You should—"
"I'll make breakfast." He's already up, reaching for his clothes. "The usual?"
"Yes. Thank you."
We move around each other carefully, not touching, both of us trying to hold ourselves together. Then he leaves and I'm alone, staring at the rumpled bed that still smells like us.
This is really happening.
I force myself to move. Go to Elena's room. She's already out of bed, pulling on her pants backwards, but she's trying. When she sees me, she grins.
"Mama! I'm getting dressed all by myself!"
"I can see that, baby. You're doing such a good job." I kneel beside her. "But your pants are on backwards. Let's fix them."
"Oh." She giggles and lets me help her turn them around. "Is Daddy making eggs?"
"Yes, baby. He's making eggs."
"I'm so hungry I could eat a whole chicken!" She giggles at her own joke, the same one she tells every morning.
I help her finish dressing in a yellow shirt, her favorite overalls. She tries to braid her own hair but gets tangled, so I take over, my fingers working automatically while my mind races ahead to what comes next.
"Mama, can we go to the market today?"
"Not today, sweetheart."
"Tomorrow?"
"Maybe. We'll see."
I finish her braid and she runs toward the kitchen, calling for Lupo. I follow more slowly, dreading what comes next.
Lupo's at the stove, scrambling eggs, and the scene is so painfully normal that I have to look away.
"Daddy!" Elena runs to him, wrapping her arms around his leg. "You're making my eggs!"
He sets down the spatula and crouches down to her level, pulling her into a hug. I watch his face, the way his expression softens when he looks at her, the way his eyes close for just a moment like he's memorizing this too.
"Of course, I am. I promised, didn't I?"
"Let's eat," I say, my voice too bright. "Come sit down, Elena."
Lupo plates the eggs and we sit at the table—this little family we've built—and for a moment, nobody speaks.
Elena digs into her eggs happily, swinging her legs under the chair, humming to herself. Lupo and I just look at each other across the table, both of us trying to figure out how to do this.
How to break her heart.
"Elena," Lupo says finally. "Your mama and I need to tell you something."
She looks up, fork halfway to her mouth. "What?"
"I have to go away for a little while. For work."
