“I’m not sure I can muster up an appetite…”
“We all have to eat if we want to keep our energy up.Besides, as soon as you smell MMM, your stomach will demand them.”
“What’s MMM?”
“Maude’s Meatless Meatballs.They are the best thing in the cafeteria.”
“I’m not really a fan of vegan stuff, but I’ll try anything once.”
“Right this way.”
Stan guided her across campus and into the line and ordered a plate for each of them.She reached for her wallet, but he was already giving the cashier his ID card.
“My treat.I still feel like I cheated you out of our first date.So I want to make it up to you as best as I can while we are on campus.”
“That’s sweet of you, but unnecessary.However, maybe it’s for the best, anyway.”
Stan visibly stiffened.“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I mean, come on.We enjoy each other’s company, sure.But trying to make this work is something entirely different.Aren’t we just kidding ourselves by trying to avoid the inevitable?Your life is here, and mine is 10,000 kilometers away.We are fooling ourselves in thinking the distance won’t kill what we have.”
Stan put down his meatball and placed a palm over Kalliopi’s.
“What makes you think we are kidding ourselves?And since when did you assume my life is here?”
“Because you have a great job here, and your family is here.What else would I think?”
“That I’m up for retirement.”
Kalliopi’s brows shot up her forehead.“I can’t ask you to uproot yourself for me.”
“You’re right, you can’t.But that doesn’t mean that I haven’t considered living in Greece.”
Kalliopi brought a meatball to her mouth and took a huge bite.“These taste even better than they smell, wow!”
“Kallie, yes, all credit to Maude, but our time is limited, so let’s not change the subject.Why does it feel like you’re trying to mark this relationship for failure at every turn?Why is it that you’re so determined to not be open to the possibility of us?”
“Because, the last time I had hope, I was crushed with the reality of how wrong I’d been about the person I chose to give my life to.”She didn’t want to talk about it, but the more she thought about Stan, the more she wanted to tell him about Jace.To unburden herself so he could at least know why she had to protect herself so fiercely.“His name was Jace, and we were in love.Well, at least I was.After six months of dating, we moved in together, and if I’m being honest, from night one of me moving in with him, he wanted to change me.He insisted I should take a desk job and get out of the military because the military wasn’t lady-like.”
“This guy seems like he wanted to change everything about you.He sounds like a real piece of work.”
“Yeah, he was a narcissistic asshole who blamed me for his cheating on me in the end.He even kicked me out of my apartment.I was the one who originally had him move in with me.”
A low growl in Stan’s sternum began to vibrate the table.“I’m really not liking this guy now.”
“Well, I left him a year ago.He’s no longer in my life.But I still have trust issues because of it, and I’m sorry for blowing up at you.”
“It’s okay.I understand.And probably more than you know.You remember I told you I was married before, to Jewel’s mother?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Well, what I didn’t tell you was that she was always worried that I’d be the one making her a widow, given my line of work.She was a journalist for a local paper and enjoyed living a mundane life.Our meet-cute was pretty ordinary, too.We met over a can of peas in the supermarket, and I couldn’t help but ask her out right then and there.But in the end, I was the one who became a widower.She died in a traffic accident on her way home from work.It was a fifteen-car pileup after the first snowstorm that year.She had no chance of avoiding the accident.”
“I’m so sorry, Stan.”
“The thing is, when I saw you fall during SHIT, something in me was set off, and all I could think of was getting you the help you needed.And if I’m being completely honest, yeah, part of me wants to protect you now.I really don’t want you to go after Zagan because I’m terrified of losing you.What’s worse is I fear what I might do to Zagan if he hurts you again.Like you, I really don’t think he deserves another chance at rehabilitation.But if I take the law into my hands, I’m no better than he is.So I’m sorry if I had you remembering your past with that ass.And I know I can’t keep you from this mission any more than you can keep me from it.”
Kalliopi squeezed Stan’s hand.
