I groan inside, wishing I didn’t just say that. Whenever I’m on camera, all these lame puns come out. I don’t know why. I don’t plan it. It just happens.
Leanne gets way too close for my liking as the bear waddles over to the Christmas tree.
“I guess this is our Christmas tree inspector,” I say as Leanne films. “Probably checking for anyclawsin the design.”
My god.Stopwith the puns.Please.
The crowd that’s still here laughs as the grizzly starts rubbing his body on the tree.
“Oh wow,” I say into my mic. “He’s… really getting in there. I guess that’s one way to…spruceup the festivities.”
Ugh. I give up. The puns have a mind of their own.
He lifts his black nose, breathes in deep, and then yanks his head to the side like he’s suddenly possessed.
“Oh,” I gasp, stepping back with my body trembling. Hisverylarge,veryfocused eyes are locked right ontome.
I swallow hard, expecting him to look away, but he doesn’t. He’s looking at me like I’m a juicy piece of steak and it’s dinner time.
“Uh…” I say into the mic, not able to come up with any words, not even any bad puns. “This ispaw-sitively concerning.”
And there it is.
My last words are going to be a terrible pun.
The bear takes a step toward me.
Then another.
Then—oh no—another one, much faster.
And then he full onsprints.
The people around me scream and scatter throughout the town square. These are the people left, the ones who are naturally low on survival instincts, and even they’re running in terror.
But me?
I just stand here, stunned as a thousand-pound blur of angry fur barrels straight toward me like I owe him money.
Even Leanne is gone, fleeing with the crowd and somehow keeping the camera pointed backward over her shoulder as she runs.
Move, I tell myself. My body doesn’t listen.
My feet stay planted in the snow as I stare at the charging grizzly bear.
My heart is racing and my breath is stuck in my throat, only I don’t feel any fear.
Quite the opposite.
I have a similar feeling to when I go home after a while and see my family golden retriever come running to say hi.
But this is not some friendly family dog. This is a wild animal. A dangerousbeast.
Yet, the fear never comes.
I’m almost…excitedfor him to arrive.
“Move!” a deep voice hollers, bursting out of the fleeing crowd.
