“People who leave reviews always have something to complain about,” Mom says.
“These people got hospitalized by the food,” Dad says, reaching over me to show her the phone. “So, I think they deserve to complain. I can’t believe I’m wasting my vacation days on this.”
“Put that away,” Mom say, pushing the phone back to him. “My sister is coming.”
Me and Mom force out a smile as Aunt Jennifer comeswalking over, looking a little stressed out. “Ready to board?” she asks.
“Ready to leave,” Dad mumbles.
I elbow his side. “We’re ready,” I say, smiling up at her. “Is Leah excited?”
She turns and winces when she sees Leah stumbling over. She forgot her bag and purse at the bar.
“What up, party people?” she hollers, throwing her arms in the air.
In addition to being a little trashy, Leah is averysloppy drunk.
She collapses onto the chair beside my dad and puts her arm around his neck. I can’t help but chuckle when I see him stiffen like a board.
“I’m so happy you’re coming, Uncle David,” she slurs about an inch from his cheek.
Her breasts are pressed against his arm and I can smell the alcohol on her breath from here. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad so uncomfortable. It’s tragic, but also kind of hilarious.
“I made sure we all got seats on the plane together,” she says, slurring her words.
Dad’s eyes bug out wide as he watches the group approaching. Everyone’s eyes are on the groom and his friends as they take over the waiting area by the gate. They’re all loud and hammered and my dad’s worst nightmare.
“Babe, you forgot your bag,” Taint says, dropping her bag on the floor in front of her like it’s a piece of garbage.
“Oh shit,” she says, finally releasing my dad. He breathes for the first time since she arrived. “My wedding dress is in there.”
I stare at the frayed dirty backpack in shock. Her wedding dress is in there? All crumpled up?
But this is Leah we’re talking about. She’s getting married on the beach, so she might be wearing a white bikini downthe aisle, complete with a G-string to give my dad a heart attack.
“Babe,” Taint says as he drops down into an empty seat beside a seven-year-old girl. The girl’s mom quickly moves her away. “I’m gonna sit with Stank.”
“The fuck you are,” Leah says, looking like she’s ready to slap someone. “It’s our wedding. You sit withme.”
They start going at it and I can feel my dad getting stiffer and more uncomfortable by the second.
That’s when I hear my name over the loud speakers:Maya Howard, please come to the boarding desk at gate 37.
“That’s you,” Mom says. “Want me to go with you?”
“I got it,” I say as I grab my bag and hurry away from this shitshow.
“Hello,” I say, smiling at the flight attendant at the desk. “I’m Maya Howard.”
“Oh,” she says, checking my ticket and passport. “There’s a problem with your seat.”
“Okay. What’s the problem?”
“The person on the plane before you was sick on your seat.”
My stomach drops. Disgusting. Just what I need to make this vacation a little bit worse.
“So, we’re upgrading you to first class.”
