But it wasn’t.
So Jaime sat here, nodding, eating her eggs and toast, which scraped her throat on the way down, much like her mother’s words were anchors tied around her. And with the weight of her current conundrum with Olivia added to the mix, Jaime worried she might drown.
Why had this visit been her solution? She must be going mad.
By the time she returned home, Jaime’s patience and mental energy were both running on fumes, and so she rushed to the bathroom to take a long shower.
On her drive back home, she had once more been unable to listen to music as her idle mind currently shaped up to be a toxic wasteland. If left unattended, it spun and conjured one horror scenario after the other. If not that, it bathed in regrets, failures, and disappointments, both perceived and actual. Instead of an inspiration, a journey, an adventure, music had turned into the score to a dystopian hellscape.
Jaime hated how her mind told her the exact opposite of what her body urged her to do. She’d even had a moment where she wondered if allowing a sort of carnal connection with Olivia would really be such a bad thing.
Yes. It would, and not just for professional reasons. Jaime didn’t trust herself around Olivia, and this made Olivia the most dangerous person Jaime might ever have encountered.
The next week passed both in a blur and with an agonizing slowness. Her new cases were mundane enough, with some lawyers bordering on annoying, and mostly it followed a regular, familiarroutine.
This, in turn, allowed her mind to drift to places she shouldn’t revisit, likely explaining what happened on Wednesday, when she had stopped talking mid-sentence in the hallway outside of her chamber because she’d seen a flash of dark hair and a shapely figure passing in her peripheral. In her frustration, Jaime gritted her jaw so hard she worried she might need a dentist—and managed to scare Sara, her new judicial clerk, in the process.
Yet she didn’t see Olivia anywhere. Not just that, but she’d not seenanyonefrom her terrible law firm either. For an almost feverish second, Jaime wondered if she’d imagined everything, but no. That would be too easy, though also incredibly terrifying.
On Thursday, not even her regular visit toneverending pages, her favorite bookstore where she had spent many hours reviewing legal filings or keeping up with her correspondence with a cup of black coffee at her side, did any good.
Instead, she stared at her mug and the sugar container positioned in the center of the table.
One spoon of sugar.
Good Lord, Jaime was losing her mind. She sometimes wished they had exchanged phone numbers, though she had no idea what she’d even write. Besides, she was supposed to get her out of her system, not allowing her inside even further.
Of course,thisthought chased her mind to the gutter, and she’d shifted restlessly in her seat, pulling at her shirt-collar at the sudden heat suffusing her body.
Perhaps she needed to sleep with someone else. Maybe that would get Olivia out of her head.
As soon as the thought sprouted, she yanked it out. She had no desire to connect with anyone, and the mere thought of going out and trying to meet up with another woman for sex exhausted her to the bone.
There was just nothing to it. She had to find a way to stop thinking of Olivia because nothing else was acceptable, and any stupid, no-good idea needed to die wherever temptation went todie. Did temptation ever die or just act like it vacated the premises, only to jump you the moment you showed any weakness?
Jaime narrowed her eyes. No. She’d ward off such a death rattle. She was stronger than that and had weathered other storms and adversity. She’d not let Olivia Gray tear her from the life she’d built.
hallucinations
TheSundayafterherunexpected collision with Jaime at the gala and their subsequent night together, Olivia arrived late at her parents’ place for dinner. She loved their Sunday dinners.
It was a long-standing tradition, and no matter what else happened, all her siblings tried to attend. Jack, after marrying Emily, had simply been integrated, and her parents loved having their children and grandchild around them. When they were younger, their table had been more sparsely decorated, with food at times scarce, but it never affected their joy in being together.
Something dampened the happiness she usually felt at spending time with her family this Sunday. Not even her run through Freedom Park had been able to chase away the gloomy cloud one Jaime Lachlan had left behind.
As soon as Olivia entered her parents’ house, her nephew Luca ran toward her, holding a still damp painting of the ocean. “Auntie Liv, look at this!”
She inspected the image, the yellow sand, blue water with the sun reflecting off the surface.
“Do you like it?” Luca rocked back and forth on his socked feet; his face flushed.
“Oh, wow. That’s so awesome! Did you draw this?” She smiled.
Luca noddedrapidly.
“You’re a great artist. I’m impressed.”
Her nephew beamed. “Thanks.” He dashed off.
