“No, it’s nothing serious. It’s just that…” Lisa paused. “Well, I want to invite Zoe.”
“Okay.” Marcy felt a flutter at the mention of Zoe’s name, and her mind went back to this morning, when they’d woken up in each other’s arms at the sound of squealing kittens. They’d kissed and made love so quietly it had felt more intimate than anything she’d ever done. The kittens were healthy and adorable, their eyes still closed as they cuddled up closely against their mother. She smiled. “Are you worried I’m going to wind her up or something? Because I won’t.” There were a lot of things Marcy wanted to do to Zoe but winding her up wasn’t one of them anymore.
Lisa shook her head. “I’m sorry, I just had to bring it up because I don’t want anything to ruin Stella’s big night. I know it’s not just you, I’ll talk to Zoe too.”
“We’ll be fine,” Marcy said, repressing a chuckle. “After I found out why she had a problem with me, I apologised, and she accepted.”
“Oh? That’s great. So you’re fine now? You never told me that and neither did she.”
“It was a while ago.” Marcy shrugged. “But yes, we can be civilised, and besides, with so many people there, we won’t even need to talk to each other. Who knows? Zoe might bring her own date.” She imagined the look on Lisa and Stella’s faces when she and Zoe showed up together and tried not to laugh.
“I doubt it. She’s super picky when it comes to women.” Lisa sat back while the waiter poured the cava. “Anyway, now that you’ve talked it out and you’re not working at El Escondite anymore, there won’t be anything to quarrel about.” She held up her glass in a toast. “Here’s to your new home, your new kitten adventure and your new mystery lady who I can’t wait to meet. All very exciting.”
Marcy clinked her glass with Lisa’s and smiled. “Yes, all very, very exciting.”
54
“Where were you last night? I was worried.” Ling poured a cup of tea for herself and a coffee for Zoe.
“Worried? I messaged you to tell you I wasn’t coming home, didn’t I?” Zoe sipped her coffee, wondering how fast she could divert the topic.
“Yes, but I still get worried when I don’t know where you are.” Her mother sighed. “I know you’re an adult and I shouldn’t be like this. It’s just so different when you’re living at home. I sit up waiting for you when you’re out, and I can’t sleep when you don’t come home.”
Zoe felt a stab of guilt when she noticed how tired her mother looked. “Do you want me to move out? I was going to look for a flat. I just haven’t got around to it yet.”
“Goodness, no. I don’t want you to move out. Your father and I love having you home. It would just be so nice if you shared things with me once in a while. Like, who is this man you’re seeing and when can I meet him?”
“I’m not seeing a man, Mum.” Zoe didn’t know what else to say, because it was the truth.
“Oh, don’t lie to me, Zoe. I can tell you’re in love; it’s written all over your face. Your head is in the clouds, you go out and come home late, or you don’t come home at all. Why can’t you just tell me about him?” Ling’s expression turned serious, and she lowered her voice. “He’s not married, is he?”
Zoe shook her head. “There is no man.” Deep down, she wanted to tell her mother. She wanted her to know how happy she was, and she even wanted her to meet Marcy. Perhaps she should just get it over with. Perhaps this very moment, a normal morning like all other mornings, was the time to finally tell her. To bite the bullet and just go with whatever happened. Her mother loved her very much, but she might not be able to accept it and that would be the start of a whole new kind of strained relationship. Nothing would be natural anymore between them. Zoe wasn’t prepared, but then again, she’d never been prepared, and she suspected she never would be.
“Her name is Marcy.” Zoe leaned over the kitchen table and covered her face with her hands. Had she just said that out loud?Maybe she didn’t hear me… Maybe I can still take it back.
“Her?” Ling’s voice went up a notch.
Fuck, she did hear me.Zoe didn’t dare look up. “Yes.” The silence that followed seemed to last forever.
“What does that mean?” Ling finally asked.
“It means exactly what it means,” Zoe mumbled, knowing there was no way she could talk her way out of this now. It was time to be honest. “I’m not dating a man, Mum; I’m dating a woman.”
“Oh.”
Another silence filled the kitchen, and Zoe could feel the thump of her heartbeat in her throat. Two decades of hiding, and now this. Where had she suddenly found the courage from? Why had she just blurted it out? “Aren’t you going to say something?” Zoe lowered her hands to the table and raised her gaze to meet her mother’s. She was shocked, upset perhaps, but at least she didn’t look angry or disgusted.
Ling’s hand trembled as she put down her teacup. “Your father always said he thought you were… Well, he thought you were like that, but I didn’t believe him.”
“Dad said that?”
“Yes. I think you were around fourteen when he mentioned it for the first time. He even asked me if I thought we should talk to you about it.” Ling sighed. “But I fought him all the way on that. Perhaps I didn’t want it to be true.”
“Why?” Zoe asked. “Is me being gay so bad?”
Ling sighed. “I just want you to have a good life, to have children and the security of a family when you’re older. Life can’t be easy when you are the way you are.”
Zoe stared at her mother, partly relieved that she hadn’t used the word ‘disappointed’, and partly confused by her family statement. It was going better than she’d expected, so she managed to calm herself down. If her mother wasn’t panicking, she wouldn’t either. “We’re not in China though, Mum,” she said. “People here don’t care, and I’ve never had the desire to start a family. Not because I’m unable to; it’s entirely normal for same-sex couples to have children nowadays. But that’s not where I am in life. I want to focus on my career.”
