“Yes. London is a terribly expensive city to live in and I couldn’t afford the rent on my flat anymore after my partner moved out. Staying here is much cheaper and since it’s all-inclusive, I thought I could stretch my savings for longer. If I don’t find anything by the end of August, I’ll just have to move in with my parents and work in a pub for a while until I do find something. It is what it is.”
“Right. And moving in with your parents wasn’t an option before?”
Lisa shrugged. “I could have done that. But my brother has also moved back in with them. He’s recovering from a car accident, so I didn’t want to be in their way and besides, moving in with my parents at thirty-four is not on the top of my list, as you can imagine.” Lisa took a sip of her coffee and sat back, still aware of their closeness. She was also hyperaware of her arms and legs, as if they’d suddenly doubled in length and she had no idea what to do with them anymore. It was weird how Stella made her feel clumsy, and as she recrossed her legs and clung onto her mug with both hands, she hoped it didn’t show. “I could always move into a shared house, but I’d just feel like a student again, like I’m starting all over, if you know what I mean… Most rentals, even house shares offer six-month contracts, and at least if I’m with my parents, it will hopefully be very temporary.”
“Okay. And how is your brother now?” Stella winced. “I’m sorry, I’m getting personal again and I promised you I wouldn’t.”
“It’s fine, the wine has chilled me out a little, and I actually don’t mind talking to you. My brother is doing better every day, thanks for asking.” Lisa noted she really was fine talking to Stella. “I know the past year and a half has been shit for everyone, so I try not to complain too much but admittedly, it’s been difficult.”
“Tell me.”
Lisa hesitated. “Well, Sandrine, my girlfriend at the time moved to New York before the pandemic hit. The plan was that I would visit her, and that she would visit me, but we couldn’t really meet up as travel restrictions came into place, and she didn’t seem to mind that so much.”
“Do you think she was seeing someone else?” Stella asked. The change in her expression when Lisa had mentioned the word ‘girlfriend’ did not go unnoticed.
“I know she was; she admitted it eventually. Then I was made redundant because like so many businesses, the company I worked for suffered from the impact of the pandemic. And when I couldn’t talk about my job, it became very clear that we had very little to talk about in general. Sandrine always had this ridiculous idea of us being a ‘power couple’. She liked the fact that we were both young and successful; her whole life revolved around her career.” Lisa subconsciously licked her lips as her gaze lowered to Stella’s mouth. She had beautiful lips; full, a little pouty, and she suddenly found herself wondering what they would feel like on hers.
“Sandrine sounds shallow.” Stella held up a hand. “Sorry, I don’t know her, but you deserve better than that.”
“Yes, that’s what I tell myself.” Lisa smiled. “So then, my brother had the accident but he’s doing okay now and learning to walk again. Hopefully he can return to work by the end of the year.” Lisa could hardly believe that she was telling Stella all of this. It was like a dam had broken and now that she’d started, she couldn’t stop talking. “Then, during the second lockdown I was unable to find a temporary flatmate to pay my bills, so I saw big chunks of my salary vanish every month.” She sighed deeply. “And then Sandrine called me to tell me it was over.”
“Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, me too,” Lisa said, fighting back her tears. “Even though looking back, I can see that I’m way better off without her. But at the time, I saw my future falling apart, and I became very distanced from life in general.”
“Depression?”
“Yes. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone and became isolated and depressed. Once the world started going back to normal, I knew I needed a change, not only because I couldn’t afford to live there anymore, but also because I’d gotten sucked into a negative downward spiral. That’s when Ebony, my best friend, gave me a kick up the ass and suggested I come here. Well, not to Paradise Hotelspecifically, but she’d found these cheap all-inclusive holidays online and she said if I was job hunting, it would be more affordable and way more pleasant to do it while being in the sun.”
“Your friend was right, even though you might not see that right now.”
“No, I know she was right. I already feel way better than I did in London. But I’ve become insecure and paranoid and…” Lisa covered her face in her hands and shook her head. “Oh, God, why am I telling you all this?”
“Because you really needed to talk,” Stella said. “Thank you for trusting me.”
“Thank you for listening.” As she met Stella’s eyes, Lisa felt her pulse race. Stella’s gaze darkened and she looked at her as if she wanted to kiss her, yet she didn’t make a move. The silence and tension between them felt like an unspoken promise, and although Lisa could really do with some distraction, she was scared to make a move herself. What if she’d read the situation all wrong? What if Stella wasn’t into women, or into her? “I’d better go,” she said, getting up. Rejection had become her middle name and she couldn’t handle another one, even if she simply wanted some meaningless fun.
“You don’t have to go, you can—”
“No, I’ve kept you long enough.” Lisa managed a smile and hoped she didn’t look as flustered as she felt. “Thank you again. I hope you’ll let me take you out for dinner to return the favour one of these days.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” Stella got up too and lingered on the spot, then grabbed her phone from the table. “Could I have your number?”
“Yes, of course.” Lisa noticed her hand was trembling when she took the phone and entered her contact information. “Message me so I have yours.”
“I will.” A smile played around Stella’s mouth when she took her phone back, her eyes never leaving Lisa’s as she slipped it into her back pocket. “There’s a taxi rank at the end of the street. Just follow the road downhill.”
“Okay.” Lisa found herself staring again. Stella’s lips looked so moist and plump in the flickering light of the candles. Swallowing hard, she brushed passed her and rushed towards the kitchen doors before she could do anything stupid. “Thank you so much for dinner, I’ll let myself out.”
17
“What’s with the suits?” Stella asked Kira, Mr Avery’s assistant, as they got out of the lift together.
“The suits?” Kira frowned. “Oh, the suits. Fuck. They’re early.” She glanced at the group of formally clad men waiting at reception, then straightened her skirt and blouse and turned to Stella. “How do I look?”
“Great as always. Why? Who are they?”
“They’re from a hotel group.” Kira leaned in and lowered her voice. “Potential buyers for Premier Sunset.”
