"Oh—no. Thanks. Sorry about...uh, thanks."
My cheeks turn hot. Gods, I'm so overwhelmed I've started repeating myself.
The ruffled server steps away. I swallow hard, wipe my brow, and try to focus on Jessica, lowering my voice to speak under my breath so no one will think I'm chatting with myself.
"Okay, I didnotneed to know that. Why couldn't you have left me in ignorant bliss?"
She scoffs and floats to sit in my absent date's chair, blowing semi-translucent blue hair out of her face. "Bitch, please. Ignorance is never bliss when it comes to dating, and you know it. What if the date turned around and started going well, huh? So well that he wound up at your place trying to stick his shit-particle-covered digits right up inside you?"
We both shudder and gag in synchrony.
I notice the pregnant woman eyeing me from her table, concerned curiosity radiating from her. I fix my face and take a steadying breath, trying to think clearly through everyone else's emotions.
It's only thanks to the enchanted necklace I haven't taken off for months that I can see and even hear people from beyond the grave, including Jessica. It was wildly expensive—the second thing I've ever bought with the dollops of money my older brother has been stubbornly sending me ever since I moved to Koasville, Illinois.
"Maybe I should bounce before the dinner rush gets here," I mutter, stabbing absentmindedly at my pasta. "This is brutal."
Jess nods. "I applaud you getting out finally, chica, but we both knew going into this that this guy's a dead end."
That's true.
There's a good reason I've been keeping my distance from socializing and avoiding physical touch for months, no matter how desperately I've craved it. Thanks to the liches who did gods know what to me in the Nether, a person will feeleverythingI'm feeling from the barest touch of my skin, even if they're wearing mytherun.
As someone who's had no choice but to absorb everyone else's emotions for as long as I can remember, that's not something I'm eager to burden anyone else with.
Basically, this date was a test run. An attempt to get back to normal. Even if it didn't get far, at least it got me out of my fuzzy slippers, robe, and messy bun for one night.
I pull my phone out to check the time. "I should at least wait until he gets back to make an excuse for leaving."
"Why? Girl, Mr. UTI Fingers is scrolling on his godsdamned phone, watching glass-blowing tutorials as we speak. I know he seemed decent for the little bit he was out here, but we're now at minute seventeen of him hanging out in the bathroom. On. A. Fucking. Date. Even if he has no idea how hard it actually is for you to be out and about right now, he's not entitled to any more of your time. It's not on you to shelter his feelings, remember?"
Her wording makes me think of my brother's best friend's constant reminders during my childhood. I can practically still hear Ian's gentle scowl and feel him wiping tears off my face after one of my empathic meltdowns.
Forget them. Just 'cause you have to feel whatever they're feeling doesn't mean that's on you. It's never on you, Sunshine. Okay?
It took me a long time to stop feeling responsible for others' emotions. I'm usually much better these days, but it helps that Jessica makes a point of reminding me.
I flag down the server, apologize again for zoning out earlier, and ask for a takeout box. Five minutes later, I slip out the front doors of the Italian restaurant, taking a deep breath as I try to center myself despite all the strangers' emotions. Before I walk into the parking lot, I notice the blond-haired, nervous guy pacing out here, talking on his phone.
"Yeah. No, Cressa just slipped into the bathroom, but she'll be back any second," he says to what I'm assuming is his moral support friend or relative. "Gods, I'm so damn nervous. Yeah? Okay. Uh-huh, I'll let you know. 'Kay, here goes. Bye."
He hangs up and moves toward the front door.
"Yoo-hoo? Earth to El," Jessica prompts, waving a see-through hand in front of me.
It's not my business. I know that.
But…
I may not be responsible for this stranger, but no matter who you are, heartbreakhurts. Life is hard enough for everyone. If I can save him the added pain, why shouldn't I?
"Uh oh. I know that face," Jess groans. "El, don't?—"
"Excuse me?" I'm already saying, turning back to get the blond-haired man's attention before it's too late.
He pauses outside the restaurant, pocketing his phone as he looks back at me. I can sense his distraction, since he's clearly still fixated on what he's about to do.
"Uh…yeah?"
