I openmy mouth to tell Heidi everything. But then I notice the folding table set up out on her back deck, beautifully decorated with decorative dinner plates, wine glasses, candles, flowers, and… butterscotch cookies.
"Were you setting up a date out here?" I ask, confused.
"It's kind of already going on, actually," she replies vaguely.
Right. The ghosts Kaenon mentioned.
I sigh and look at the empty table. "Would you guys mind giving us a second?"
Heidi's eyes widen. "You know about them?"
"We all do. Also, I know Jessica is a bit of a gossipy perv, so if she doesn't actually get lost, I'm going to salt her," I threaten.
A second later, Heidi looks back at me, looking like she's fighting a smile. "They're gone, but she wants you to know that you're her least favorite now. She also called you a clamjam, which she claims is the lady version of a cockblock. Butanyway—why did you bring me out here?"
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the envelope Silas gave me and hand it to her, brushing her fingers on purpose becauseI can't get enough of her feelings. Heidi is confused until she opens it and pulls out a charm bracelet with a small gasp.
"Thank gods," she breathes, relief and gratitude clouding her face before she tries to put it on.
"He replaced the one Everett got from the Garnet Wizard for you," I realize, grateful to the necromancer. "It looks just like your old one."
Since she's struggling to clasp the constantly-moving other end of her bracelet, I gently grasp her wrist and do it for her. Meanwhile, Heidi frowns softly, gazing up at me.
I know she's wondering how I know what her old bracelet looks like. Before she can ask, I decide to confess everything. It comes out in a quiet rush as I release her wrist.
How Everett asked me to keep an eye on her from a distance. How happy I was to see her thriving here. How, sometime in the couple of years leading up to the fall of the Divide, something changed until my universe started orbiting around hers despite the distance between us. How I may have meddled with the punishments of some of her exes. How I even came to Koasville a couple of times just to get a glimpse of her, unable to get closer because I was supposed to be dead, and I didn't want to intrude on her happy life.
It's not as smooth a confession as I used to imagine late at night, whenever I fantasized about coming here to tell Heidi how I felt. It's clumsy. I'm so nervous that I'm shaking slightly, terrified that telling her all of this will just horrify my sunshine and take her away from me for good.
But she has to know. I need her to understand how messed-up I am before I lock her down for good, and she can never get away from me again.
"And I…I stalked you," I finish, my voice a rasp as I finally look at my wide-eyed sunshine. "I don't have a defense for that. I'm not even asking you to forgive me for it, because gods know Iwould do it all again. I was supposed to just keep an eye on you, but—fuck, just look at you. How could I not fall as irrevocably hard for you as I did?"
I start to reach for her face, wanting to brush her hair aside and feel everything she's feeling, but Heidi takes a step back so she's out of my reach.
With that one action, it feels like my entire soul is in a sudden freefall. Depending on her next words, I might hit the ground and never get up again.
Only, she's not saying anything. Her silence is choking me.
"Heidi?" I whisper.
She swallows hard, her hands fidgeting and her brow drawn tight. “I-I’m just having a hard time believing this. Everything you're admitting to seems so…impossible. So unreal."
"It's real." Since my entire existence feels like it's careening through the sky now that I've told her everything, I decide to give her proof. I unpin the mytherun from my shirt, tossing it onto her back deck before I look at her. "Take off the bracelet and see if I'm lying."
I know Heidi can usually tell if someone is lying, thanks to her empath abilities. Thanks to Everett warning me, I've also been meticulous about wearing blessed mytherun around her since the moment I met her when we were children. Come to think of it, she's never felt any of my emotions.
For a moment, Heidi stares at my mytherun pin on the deck. Then, with an unsteady breath, she unclasps the bracelet I just put on her and sets it on the table.
Immediately, I know my empath is sensing how fucking obsessed andinsaneI am about her, because the air rushes out of her lungs. She sways, knees buckling. I dart forward quickly, keeping her from falling?—
But the instant my arms go around her, our feelings intertwine as a live wire.
Her shock reverberates with my hunger for her. My total obsession craters through any reservations she had left. Her hope and fresh excitement and wonder curl around mine—and my soul's freefall ends all at once when her lips find mine.
Her warm, eager adoration washes over me.
Yes.Yes.
