"As you wish. I will think of a compliment befitting your…c—considerable loveliness," he says, looking away shyly.
I try not to laugh, but in the brief interactions I've witnessed between these ghosts so far today, Athanis is clearly in over his head where Jess is concerned. He keeps calling her lovely and stuttering around her. Meanwhile, she keeps going from zero to sixty on him.
"No, no—I meando me," Jessica repeats. "It's ghost sex time, baby."
Yep, just like that. That's my bestie.
Athanis is flustered. "Once again, I request that you cease calling mebaby,for I am no infant.As for your suggestion, I would be a complete lackwit to turn away your…offer…but nevertheless, spirits such as us cannot have…ahem. Carnal relations."
I've never seen a ghost who looks like they're about to melt from having to form words, but he does right now.
"How do you know?" Jess challenges. "Have you ever tried?"
He fumbles. "No, but the attempt in itself would be improper?—"
"We're dead, papi. Do you really care aboutproperwhen you could be playing with all this?" she gestures up and down her body, adding a hip roll for emphasis.
Athanis can't seem to look away from her ghost body, but he still looks like he's going to be the first person to die as a ghost from sheer forwardness.
Deciding to save him, I clear my throat. "What if I set up a date for you two? Just a casual situation so you can get to know each other."
Jessica's face lights up. "Yes! Good thinking, El."
Athanis is also relieved as he looks at me. "Date? What activities would we do on?—"
I tune out of what he's saying when another voice floats on the wind toward me, faint but just barely audible to my shifter ears.
"I don't get it. Her house should be over here somewhere."
Ryan.
My nerves tense at once. My doe is just as alarmed.
"El? What's wrong?" Jessica frowns, unable to hear what's going on without shifter ears.
I'm too busy listening, not breathing as I pick up the faint voices.
"I can sense some serious protective magic wards all over," a nasally voice hums, just as far away and muffled as Ryan's. "The kind that keeps anyone hostile out. I bet her scarred-ass brother sent his fucking necromancer over here to hide her house. No worries—my guys and I will try to get through. Might damage her house a bit."
"I don't care as long as I get in to talk to her," Ryan huffs. "Wait—you're not going to hurt her, though, right? You're just journalists or some shit?"
"Why would we hurt her?"
That's exactly the kind of answer I would give if I was a fae who couldn't lie.
Danger,my doe warns me, her terror overtaking me.Run.
The last time we ran, we got hit by a bus,I remind her.We're not running.
"Is something wrong?" Athanis asks.
I look at the ghosts on my back deck, putting on a convincing bright smile so my bestie doesn't freak out. If I tell her that Mr. Douchenozzle is back with some fae, she's going to forget all about this date with Athanis and rage at whoever is trying to trespass.
"You guys stay right here and have a little get-to-know-you date preamble, okay? I'll set up something more official for you later, if that's okay. I just remembered something, but I'll be back."
"You sure?" Jess checks, clearly still worried.
"Very. Try to avoid the bad first date topics—you know, exes, trauma, politics, sexual history," I shrug. "Just talk about…ghostly stuff."
