My hearing cuts out. Everything is fading to nothingness, including me.
All along, I knew there would be no happy ending for me. I can’t even fully blame the gods because I chose this fate. But that doesn’t stop the useless tears that prick my eyes as I struggle to drag in just one more breath—because this is really not fucking fair tothem. Their pain wasn’t in my godsdamned plan.
I just needed more time with them.
Vaguely, I’m aware of Crypt and Baelfire frantically trying to speak to me through our bond, but I shut all four of my quintet members off telepathically. I’m sure permanent death hurts like a bitch. They shouldn’t have to go through it with me, even distantly.
Everett is shaking now, shouting something at me. I missed when it happened, but he’s created a thick shield of ice around usas he tries to get a response out of me. His agonized expression finally drags me back just enough that I can whisper hoarsely.
“Find Lillian. Make sure she survives.”
“Stop. Don’t do this. The whole final wish thing—I can’t handle this. Just keep breathing and…and…” His voice breaks, and he shakes his head helplessly. “Don’t leave me. Dear gods on high,pleasedon’t leave me.”
I want to hug him and promise that things will be okay, but I can’t lie: we’re fucked. Without Engela’s life force propping it up, the Divide has officially fallen and the rest of Amadeus’s forces will break through as he goes on to conquer the mortal realm. I have failed epically, but I won’t even be around to take it on the chin the way I deserve.
Moisture trickles over my temples as I fight like hell for another breath. “I need you to do something for me.”
Everett’s own tears drip, leaving clean streaks through the ash and dampening the bandages over one half of his face. He gently touches my face with trembling fingers, but his normally chill body temperature doesn’t even register to my nearly lifeless remains.
“Anything. Anything for you,” he whispers.
“Take care of the others for me.” I swallow and shut my eyes. “Please.”
“You’ll take care of them. You’ll stay. I’ll find a way to fix this—godsdamn it, there has to be a way to fuckingfixthis if you just keep breathing and?—”
“Everett.”
He buries his face in my neck, sobs wracking his shoulders. I can barely hear him when he speaks.
“Okay. Okay, I…I promise.”
Whatever else happens after I’m gone, I trust this beautiful snow angel. If I had a heart, it would belong to him—toallof them. I don’t even know how to express the newfound,overwhelming, unspeakable pain inside my hollow chest until the quiet words are already leaving my lips.
“I love you.”
Damn it. I was so right to be terrified of this consuming emotion. It’s destroying me. Still, what a shame it is that I won’t get to explore this beautiful destruction with them.
Something stutters and then evaporates inside my chest—and at once, I feel the bonds snap.
I thought I knew suffering before, but I had no idea agony like this existed.
Everett cries out. Far overhead, a roar of pure draconic anguish splits the air, so loud that even my malfunctioning ears ache. I can no longer sense the others trying to reach me telepathically. I can no longer senseanything, but I know they’re hurting.
It makes me despise the gods even more. How dare they give me this quintet just to take it away?
“Stupid fucking gods,” I choke as everything goes dark.
Yet even as my not-life fades away at last, I hear it. The smooth, quiet voice of a woman who sounds almost…amused.
“Quite the finale. Come along now, Maven.”
A strange whistle fills the air, and for the first time in countless deaths, my soul is reaped.
41
MAVEN
Some TimeLater
