“Bael, it's okay.”
I sit up, too, moving his hands away to frame his face between my fingers. Even that tiny amount of touch has him shuddering again. I realize he's covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his pupils blown wide as he nuzzles my hand like he can't help himself.
Oh, shit.
Suppressants. He was talking about not taking any suppressants.
“You’re going into a rut,” I realize.
Baelfire grimaces and nods, moving off the bed. Dragging his hands through his damp hair, he paces back and forth in the room like a pent-up animal, still breathing raggedly.
I knew little about heat and rut cycles until I met Kenzie, who told me more about what shifters go through. Human women undergo a monthly estrous cycle, but all shifters undergo a more extreme version of that cycle. Certain types of shifters experience it more frequently than others—but with modern magic and medicine, most can get away with taking suppressants to calm down their primal needs.
Kenzie described it as ovulation on “mega steroids.” She said if she ever missed taking suppressants, it left her in a brutal, all-consuming heat that always led to bad decisions because she literally couldn’t think like herself.
It doesn’t seem like Baelfire has reached that point yet, but I assume it’s coming.
Bael interrupts my thoughts when he braces his hands at the end of the bed and hangs his head.
“Fuck. Gods, I can’t—Maven, you need to get out of this room. Have Silas spell it shut to lock me inside so I can't get to you, okay?”
“I'm not going anywhere,” I decide.
“Raincloud,” he rasps, looking up at me pleadingly.
Gods. His gaze dragging over me as he grows overheated and desperate makes me squirm with building excitement, which just makes him curse more.
“Why should I go?”
“Baby, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I'll be insatiable—already, literally the only thing I can think about is claiming and fucking the living hell out of you. Gods, I just want to covet and mark and fill you until you can't fuckingmove,”he grits out, palming his erection roughly with a wince.
It’s difficult to breathe, but I shrug. “I fail to see a downside to any of that. If you’re trying to convince me to leave, you're doing a terrible job of it.”
Bael’s gaze is searing as he gets back on the bed and prowls toward me.
“Ruts can sometimes take days. It's said they burn faster with mates, but I've never gone through a rut withanyone—I’ve always just taken suppressants, so I have no fucking idea what to expect. Meaning, I have no fucking idea if you'd be safe in here with me.”
He's never gone through a rut with someone?
Knowing I get one of his firsts makes me smile.
“I’m your mate. This was always going to happen. Unless you don’t ever want to experience a rut with me?”
“You have no idea how much I want you in here,” he whispers, kissing slowly up one of my bare legs and sending more tingling excitement fluttering in my stomach. I’m glad I wore such short shorts to bed earlier. “I’m just so fucking worried?—”
“I can handle this.”
“Can you?” Baelfire pins me with a half-miserable, half-starved expression, shaking his head. “Maven, what if you get overstimulated and need a second to breathe? What if I’m getting too aggressive and your touch phobia comes up and…damn it, what if I can’t stop? I won’t be in control. I refuse to do that to you, sopleasejust?—”
I lean down, capturing his lips in a kiss. He immediately crawls forward to press me against the bed, shuddering as he grinds roughly against me.
Holy fuck, he's hard. And huge.
He’s also trying to protect me from my own sensitivities, but that’s not fucking happening. Not when Kenzie told me that going through a heat or rut completely alone can be agonizing for shifters.
I break away for air, meeting his gaze. “I want this. Let me help my mate through his rut, okay?”
Bael moans, grinding harder against me. “You really can't keep calling me your mate, or I swear I'm going to fucking lose it.”
