She said I could trust her, and all my instincts say that's true—even if she decides she hates me for who I am.
There's only one way to find out.
After double-checking to make sure the rest of her quintet can't overhear us, I brace myself for the worst and spill my guts. I tell Kenzie everything. How I was brought to the Nether as a toddler, was raised fighting for my life to become Amadeus's weapon, was experimented on by necromancers until they turned me into exactly what they wanted, and was sent into the mortal realm weeks ago on a mission to slowly kill off the Immortal Quintet.
Hence why I ended up in Hearst's office when he was murdered.
I don't go into detail. I also leave out that the only thing keeping me "alive" is the shadow heart that Amadeus crafted, pulsing steadily with untraceable magic within my scarred chest.
And when it's all said and done, I wait.
Kenzie stares at me for a long time, and then, to my horror, her eyes fill with tears.
"Oh my gods, Maven."
Is she disgusted by me? Afraid? I shuffle and straighten the gloves on my hands, worried that I'm about to lose her for good.
But then she wraps me in a gentle hug, careful to only touch my clothes. "I figured you came from a tough background, but…that sounds like it was beyond brutal. Most people would never believe that someone could survive there, let alone beraisedthere, but...oh my gods, I can't even imagine what you've been through."
Something about her tone of voice is exactly like Lillian's. I miss her so fucking much, and I'm mortified when my eyes start to well with hot moisture. I close them and clear my throat.
"It doesn't matter. I survived."
"Don't you dare minimize your own trauma. If you ever want to heal from it, you can't pretend it doesn't exist."
I sincerely doubt there will be any healing in my future. But I say nothing because my emotions are too out of control, and even if I trust Kenzie, I'm not about to fucking cry in front of someone else.
Finally, she pulls back so I can see the warm, honest affection on her face. "Do your guys know?"
"Yes."
She nods. "And they're still obsessed with you. Good. If they'd changed their minds or had a problem because of something so wildly out of your control, I would have clawed their eyes out."
The mental image of Kenzie trying to scratch any of their eyes out makes me snort. "I would pay to see that."
"So…what happens after?” she asks, frowning.
"What do you mean?"
"Once you get rid of those immortal fucking jerks who are letting Everbound cannibalize itself. If you were trained to be a weapon and you finish your mission to get rid of them, what happens after that?"
I look away. Kenzie found the key question there, the one that not even my quintet has thought to ask. And there's no way I'm giving her the answer. It's too bleak.
"After that, I guess we all live happily ever after."
She squints. "You're deflecting."
"I've overshared enough as it is."
Kenzie snorts. "You, overshare? As if that's even possible." But then she smiles. "So…you're not trying to make your guys hate you anymore, right?"
"Right."
She elbows me, waggling her brows. "So maybe the gods were right about them being perfectly matched to your soul, huh?"
I know what she's after. She pushed so hard for me to just give in to my matches, and now she wants me to confess she was right. She's looking for a sickly-sweet confession of how swept away I've been.
"They're gorgeous idiots. But now they'remygorgeous idiots." I hesitate and then clear my throat. "I have a question for you. Several questions, actually."
