Once again…maybe the gods didn't do too bad of a job with this whole perfect-soul-mates thing.
27
MAVEN
It's official.I really am going soft because I take it easy on my matches in our private training after combat class.
I'm a big believer in training like your life depends on it, since mine always did, but my quintet is in rough enough shape as it is. As we take a water break in the training room in Everbound's dungeons, Baelfire tugs at his collar and paces like a trapped animal, Silas glares at the giant mirror as if he might attack his own reflection, and Crypt…
Once again, he seems fine. But he's smoking that strange herb again.
Meanwhile, Everett keeps bringing up the little heart-to-shadow-heart we had yesterday.
"I'm going to need an actual explanation, Oakley," he mutters from beside me as I set down the water bottle Kenzie bought me weeks ago. "What the fuck did you mean?"
"Exactly what I said."
He shakes his head. Gone is the aloof professor. Right now, Everett’s ice-colored eyes are soulful and earnest. "You said I didn't need to worry about my curse killing you. But since the moment I first saw you, that isallI've worried about. Hell, myentire life, I've been terrified of exactly this happening—of falling in love with my keeper too soon and fucking ruining everything."
Yikes. TheL-word.
Wait. Did Everett just insinuate that he's…falling in love with me?
I stare at him, unable to process that. The others have said they want me, crave me, need me…all of that, I can approach practically or at least from a carnal standpoint, and it makes sense.
But this? I'm lost. I'm too fucked up to know what to do with tender, romantic feelings.
Growing up as an isolated, experimental living weapon, I never showed my true feelings to anyone but Lillian. Sometime after I turned sixteen, Gideon started saying he loved me whenever he got the chance. I brushed it off for months since it didn't seem relevant, but he grew more aggressive and frustrated, claiming I was his reason for living and he would end himself if I didn't say I loved him back. Of the thirteen kids taken from the mortal realm, he was my only friend. I cared for him, so I finally gave in and said I loved him, too.
That lie tasted like shit.
Honestly, the idea of love puts me on edge. It's too vague, too soft. It brings to mind flowery nonsense, empty promises, sweet nothings, and other useless bullshit.
Obsession, on the other hand? That's dark and twisted. It's real. I'm much more comfortable getting unhealthily obsessed or borderline manic over someone else. Anything butfallingfor them.That sounds awful.
"Why does she look like a deer caught in headlights?" Crypt asks, stopping beside Everett and me with his hands tucked in his leather pockets. He hasn't bothered removing it for training practice, probably because we've done very little actual training today.
His words make me realize I've been staring wide-eyed at Everett for too long. I quickly look away and clear my throat, noticing that Silas and Baelfire are watching, too. I'm tabling this topic with Everett because there are only two hours before curfew, and I want time after this to stop by Kenzie's apartment.
"One more round. Then we'll call it."
"Thank gods," Baelfire groans. "I'm starving. Hurry up and let her beat you like a drum, Si."
But when Silas takes his turn opposite me on the mat, he looks more focused than he did earlier, determination making his handsome features more severe. "If I beat you, will you truly tell us what you are,sangfluir?"
"Cross my absent heart."
That makes Crypt snort. Everett pipes up from the side of the room, folding his arms as he narrows his eyes at me.
"Will you be evasive about it, or can I expect anactualanswer from you this time?"
Testy, testy. Obviously, he doesn't like that I've sidestepped his questions yet again.
"Win, and I'll tell you what I am, all about my magic, and the handful of ways I canactuallydie."
That makes all of them gawk at me. Although, that could also be because I finally strip off my top baggy shirt, leaving me in nothing but an exercise bra and pants. I haven't broken a sweat today, but the way they all devour my appearance as if I'm posing in lingerie makes me suddenly feel flushed.
"Nothing you haven't all seen before," I remind them brusquely, folding my arms to cover any hints of the ragged scar on my chest that I'm still iffy about showing. "Let's do this."
