“Yeah.” But I do care.I went to school in Paris to learn my craft.If I wanted, I could work in some of the finest restaurants in the world.I don’t need the $10,000 prize.I have money from a trust fund from my parents and grandparents.I could fund our space myself, but Andie doesn’t want to do that.She wants to feel like she’s a partner and contributing, not riding my coattails.Which I appreciate, but I don’t want to be on a show that doesn’t want me for my talent and only wants me because I’m today’s gossip.I’m a pastry chef, not a punchline.
“The producers know the guys made the playoffs and want to shoot video of us cheering them on at games and double-dating.If Colby wants to hang out?—”
“I do!”Colby yells.I can almost hear Andie’s eye roll.
“ —and that kind of stuff.Video of us baking too, of course.”
“Of course.”I meet Ollie’s eyes.We need to stay engaged because of the Pastry Pro Championships.If there’s any kind of public-vote aspect, we need to be a couple for the press.He nods and gives a slight smile.He understands what’s not being said.He’ll do this for me.For us.
“Jack said we can use the bakery to film in,” Andie says, “but we should probably use your condo since we’re on the show as home bakers and that’s where we’ve worked for our other videos.”
“Andie, I gotta go.Can we catch up later and figure out the show stuff?We need to get ready for dinner.”
Andie chuckles.“Of course.Have fun.”
I flush.Our night won’t be spent the way Andie and Colby think it will be.
A huge smile graces Ollie’s face.
He stands and pulls me into a tight hug, lifting me off the ground, and gives a partial twirl.We’re face-to-face, and I’m so close I can see the gold flecks in his brown eyes.His lashes are so long they could almost brush my cheeks when he blinks.
“Phoebe, you made the show!That’s wonderful!”
It would be so easy to press my lips to his and finally kiss him the way I’ve been longing to.But his first kiss should be his choice, not something I take from him.I rest my head against his shoulder and tuck my face against his neck.I need to be close to him but don’t want to give in to temptation.He sits on the bed and arranges me so my legs are draped over his lap.We hold each other, and Ollie slowly runs his hand up and down my back.It’s so soothing, I close my eyes and relax.I could drift off to sleep like this.I think I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head and sigh, wishing he went about six inches lower.
“You okay, Phoebs?”he asks, so quietly it’s more like I feel his words than hear them.
“Yeah,” I say, following it with another sigh.“They picked us for the show because of you and Colby and the attention it will bring.Not because of the audition video Andie and I submitted.”
His hand stops its soothing trek along my spine.“You don’t know that.”
Reluctantly, I straighten in his embrace.“Yeah, I do.They already told four teams they were in, and they’ve been posting on social media.These types of shows usually have four teams of two, and now they’ll have five.It feels like we were a last-minute addition to capitalize on your notoriety and the gossip about our engagement.We’re like clickbait.”
Ollie’s brows furrow, and I can see the happiness drain away.Damn it.I wish I hadn’t said anything.
“I’m so sorry, Phoebe.”He gently cradles my cheek.“I didn’t mean for my mess to splash on you.But it’s like Andie said—it doesn’t matter how you got on the show, you’ll knock their socks off with how well you do.I believe in you.”
I close my eyes and revel in the soothing sweep of his thumb along my cheekbone.It’s lightly calloused and almost feels like the rasp of a cat’s tongue.
“It’s nice someone believes in me.I should try it sometime.”I give a humorless laugh.
He pulls back and I miss him immediately.
“You should,” he says, his eyes shining with sincerity.“You’re wonderful.You’re talented, creative, smart, funny, beautiful…”
I gasp.“You think I’m beautiful?”
His hand shakes as he reaches out to gently lift my chin.His tenderness has tears swimming in my eyes.
“Phoebe,” he says achingly.“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.You are perfect.”
He’s never been the chubby chick the “nice guy” on your university’s soccer team hooks up with so they can say they fucked a fatty and collect on a twenty-dollar bet Monday morning.After that, I decided university wasn’t for me.I followed my dreams of going to Le Cordon Bleu Paris and getting diplomas in pâtisserie and boulangerie.
He’s never been the girl the gorgeous man in your chocolate class flirts with because, obviously, the plus-size woman knows the most about chocolate.That one hurt.I thought he cared about me.We talked about taking time off to travel Europe together after graduation.Everything sounds more romantic with a French accent.Even when it’s the guy you thought you were falling in love with laughing about you with the tiny blonde German girl who’s been a bitch to you for months.
He's never had to deal with a two-timing mentor calling him special, promising to divorce his wife, but keeping the relationship secret until after graduation.On graduation day, I discovered he does this every year.His wife cornered me in the restroom to let me know “for my own good.”She didn’t care herself because she had lovers of her own, but she wanted me to know he wasn’t leaving her, and he’d pick someone else to sleep with in the next class.
Ollie is so innocent.I’m not slut shaming myself—there’s nothing wrong with having sexual partners—and they haven’t all been assholes, but I know I’m more experienced than he is, and I’m not sure how he feels about that.It would freak some guys out, sleeping with a female more experienced than them.Maybe that’s why he hasn’t kissed me yet.I think I’m reading the signals correctly.He wants to kiss me, but we keep getting interrupted or he pulls back at the last moment.
