I curl up, facing him. “Thank you.”
He grumbles something I can’t quite make out. Time ticks by, and the tension between us eases. Eventually, he pulls me toward him again. I drape an arm across his torso. Absently trace little circles over his taut abdomen until his hand covers mine. “Stop.”
“Sorry.”
“You’re driving me insane.”
I heave out a sigh and flatten my palm over his belly. “I said I was sorry.”
He cups my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You have no goddamn idea, do you?”
“What, that you don’t want to be here?” I swat his hand away and sit up. I hug my legs to my chest as I stare out at the shadowed room. “No, I get it. Trust me, I do. But you know what, Havoc? I don’t care. I’ve never been more miserable in my life. Everything fell apart when my dad got shot, and since that night, it’s gone downhill. Sue me if I don’t want to spend this one night alone.”
Havoc grips my shoulder and hauls me backward. Supine, I watch his expression change from strained to feral as he climbs on top of me. All the air leaves my lungs as his haunted eyes cut straight to my soul. “Nice speech, but way off the mark.”
Okay, I’m lost. “Pardon?”
“How can someone so smart be so dumb?”
“I don’t follow.”
“Yeah, no shit.” He rotates his hips, grinding his erection into me. “I’ve never needed to fuck someone until you brought your sweet ass to Mayhem.That’swhat’s driving me insane.”
“Oh.” I blink up at him, at a loss for words because…wow.
But I’m not Havoc’s type. I’ve seen the women who shadow the Unholy. Hang-arounds. Women who, literally, hang around Sanctum and make themselves…available…to the gang. They’re beautiful. Comfortable in their sexuality. Most of them were strippers and prostitutes—both respected professions in Mayhem.
What they’re not is someone like me.
Bland me from Brighton.
“Yeah,oh,” Havoc snaps in his typical grouch.
But right now, Brighton might as well be a million miles away. And the way Havoc is staring at me doesn’t make me feel bland at all. The nagging voice that constantly reminds me to be dignified and proper is remarkably silent. Here, I’m free. Wonderfully free to be this new version of myself. The one who saved my own life without a hint of hesitation or remorse. This fearless woman who traces a finger along Havoc’s spine, relishing his hiss at my touch. Feel the play of muscles when I feather my palm across his shoulders. And when I cup the back of his head, I pull him closer until his mouth is inches from mine.
Until our lips are only a breath apart.
“Please, Havoc.”
Please give me this one night.
Havoc braces himself on his left arm. I choke back a gasp when he grabs my throat with his right. “You never beg someone like me for any-fucking-thing.”
I swallow hard, the movement restricted by his grip. “You’re hurting me.”
“Good.” He presses harder, but if he’s hoping to scare me, he needs to do better. After living with him for two weeks, I’ve gotten to know when he’s trying to be angry, and what I see now is raw desire. “It’s what I do, Duchess. I hurt people. Sometimes, I hurt them to death.” He drags his tongue along my lower lip. “And every night we’ve been here, I watch you when you sleep. I think about fucking you hard enough to leave bruises all over your pretty body. Still want me in your bed, Kerri?”
Oh, God, I’ve never wanted anything more.
“This isn’t my bed.” The words are brittle, crumbling as they leave my mouth.
“Fucking wiseass.” Havoc’s eyes narrow on me. “Answer the question.”
Outright defiant for the first time in my life, I lift my chin to give Havoc better access to my throat and spread my legs. “Yes, Havoc, I want you in this bed.”In my body. “I’m not made of glass. I can handle a little pain.”
He bit me, and I liked it. I want that thrill again.
His smirk darkens into something malevolent. “What? You killed a man, and now you got a set of balls?”
