It’s strange having someone depend on me. Although I live with Discord, I don’t babysit my brother. Yes, I look out for him. And yeah, I love Faith like a sister, but she has Jester to keep her safe. But Kerri… Right now, I’m all she has, and it’s a heavy burden.
“Be my eyes and ears while I’m here,” I instruct Jester, who’s walking beside me as I wheel the cart to my truck. “Make sure Kerri’s family has everything they need. Also, someone needs to go to Route 43. I want the place searched. And go see if her car is off Route 170, about a mile north of the Nights Inn.
“Dude.” Jester snort-laughs. “I’m ten steps ahead of you. Already added that to my agenda. Doubt we’ll find her car there, though.”
“No shit.” Her BMW is probably long gone. Stolen and stripped for parts. We walk through the lot, ignoring more than a few stares. “But I want the area searched. Fuck. I want to go myself—”
“Havoc, relax.” Jester hip checks me. “I’ll personally see what I can find.”
“I don’t feel like I’m doing enough. Just sitting, holed up in my cabin,” I growl.
“Nah, my dude,” Jester counters with one of his classic mischievous smiles. “You’re looking at the situation wrong. Consider this your knight-in-shining-armor moment. Leave the grunt work to us while you guard the princess.”
Correction: Kerri is my duchess.
Except she’s not mine. She’ll never be mine. I’m some filthy thing. A disgusting creature born of misery and pain. Forged in blood and tragedy. A murderer. I’ll never be anything more. Never be anyone’s knight.
“Whatever, man. And you better delete those pictures, motherfucker,” I warn Jester as he loads the groceries bags onto the bed of the truck.
“Or what?” the smug bastard asks.
I stroll to the driver’s side of the truck, grumbling out, “Fuck around and find out, asshole.”
Jester bursts out laughing. “Yeah, yeah. Always with the threats.”
I slide in behind the wheel and start the engine. “Test me, asshole.”
“Love you, too, Hav.”
I slam the truck in drive and stick my arm out the window to flip my best friend the middle finger as I drive off. Toward the cabin.
Toward Kerri.
With my fucking gut in a knot.
Once this little hiatus with her is over, after we leave this mountain, she’ll return to her world, and I’ll return to mine. We’ll go back to pretending to ignore each other. She’ll find a good man. A man who will—whocan—love her. Who’ll marry her and have children with her. Grow old and live a long and happy life with her.
Me? I’ll live a short and miserable life, one that will end bloody and painful.
Hell, I might not even live long enough to go out in a blaze of fucking glory. I might not make it off this mountain—because if the torment of being alone with Kerri doesn’t kill me, it’ll be an honest to God miracle.
6
KERRI
Accelerated classes. Ballet. Gymnastics. Piano. Chorus. Soccer. Committees. Study groups. Social clubs. Community service. Attendance awards. Round and round it went, from when I was old enough to walk until yesterday. My life ran on a relentless schedule. When Havoc smashed my phone, he must have thought I whimpered with regret.
Wrong.
Relief washed through me at the thought of not hearing the constant reminder alerts that have become the bane of my existence. My disappointment is that I wanted to call my mother, but I understand why it wasn’t an option.
My parents believed they did what was best for us by enrolling Nate and me in as many activities as possible. Their families struggled financially, and they swore their children would want for nothing. After my father and Marcus founded Ward & Caldwell, my parents gave us the childhood they wished they’d had for themselves. Maybe not necessarily the ones Nate and I would have chosen for ourselves. Grace Ward filled every hour of our lives with activities. Even time with friends was scheduled down to the minute.
Only once I became a teenager was I finally able to force her out of the equation.
At seventeen, Nate earned his freedom as well.
I love my parents, but they’ve smothered us with their love and good intentions, and…
