And if I had skin of steel, her disgust couldn’t pierce it and sever my heart. But I don’t, and it does. God, it hurts coming from her. “That’s disgusting.”
I suck in my lips and nod my head before answering. “Yep, sure is.”
Air. I need fresh friggin’ air because I can’t breathe.
My mother crosses the kitchen, where nothing has changed from the day she and my dad bought the house back before Brianna was born. She opens the walnut cabinet for no reason other than to slam it shut. I assume she did it to emphasize her frustration. “I bet you think I also don’t know someone broke into your house and beat you.” She whirls around, her face splotched with fury. “Lie to me and tell me the Unholy weren’t involved. Go on, Faith, tell me I’m wrong.”
She’s got me on this one. But only on a technicality. “Why it happened is none of your business.”
“That’s what I thought.” Her brown eyes narrow on me. “Not even back for a full month, and already you’re mixed up with them.”
“Why is it hard for you to comprehend that I love this town? I respect the Unholy and what they do to keep us safe. If, and it’s a hugeif, what happened to me had anything to do with them, it’s because I willingly helped them do something to protect Mayhem.”
“No, you helped them because of Luke,” she screams back at me.
“He goes by Jester now,” I correct her with a note of resentment. “And you’re right. He had something to do with my decision.”
Brianna’s expression mirrors my mother’s disgust. “He’s trash.”
I glance down at myself, then back at them. “Hate to break it to you, but so am I.”
My mother stabs a finger at me. “I didn’t give you an Ivy League education to have you end up right back in Mayhem with that degenerate.” Then she softens her tone because I think she remembers that when I’m pushed, my instinct is to push back harder—no matter who does the shoving. “You’re better than this.”
I suck in a breath through my teeth and give her a one-shoulder shrug. “Apparently, I’m not.”
My mother stomps her dainty foot at me. “I’m serious, Faith.”
“So am I.” I’m rigid to the point of snapping. Honestly, I’m finished here. With this conversation. With being judged by my family. “I never asked to go Saunders Hill, and I for damn sure hated every second I spent there. But I made the best of it and didn’t squander the gift you, Aunt Chloe, and Uncle Aaron gave me. And this is the last time I’ll ask you not to throw my education in my face, because it’s not nice.”
My mother, who is a sweetheart to everyone but me, sneers so hard she’d make Havoc proud. “Don’t tell me how to behave.”
Brianna, ever the mediator when she knows my mother is wrong, says, “Can you not argue with her?”
Of course, she directs her request to me.
I arch a brow at Brianna and cover my mouth to hold back a laugh. I love when she’s in peacemaker mode because, seriously, it’s hilarious. “I have to go.” I grab my bag off the chair, but before I leave, I take their measure and drop a parting announcement I’m sure will give them nightmares for months—if not years. “A word of warning. I intend to marry Jester, and I swear to God, you better get right with it because youwillrespect him, and you will respect me, because this is the last time I’m going to do this with either of you.”
* * *
I’m emotionally spent. Stretched out on the sofa with my head on Jester’s lap has helped soothe away today’s stress. He’s twirling a lock of my hair, and we’re watching some action movie I’m only mildly invested in. I shift, restless, the argument with my mother occupying too much of my mind. Not because I regret the fight but because I’m tired of the cycle. It’s exhausting and hurtful. I’m a strong person, but even I can only take so much before I—
“What wrong?”
Jester’s velvet voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
I reach up and run my fingers over his brow, smoothing away his frown. “My family knows about us.”
His expression changes from concern to amusement. “Bet that went down like a fart in church.”
“You’re not lying.”
His crooked grin is adorable. “If I go missing, Mom is to blame, huh?”
I sit up and run my knuckles down his cheek as I drown in his golden-brown eyes. “It’s not you she hates. She can’t stand me. I represent every bad decision she’s made. She’s just too stubborn to say it out loud. She never wanted to live here but was too weak to tell my dad she wanted to leave. Now, she’s stuck, and she can’t stand that her daughter loves what she hates. That makes her hate me, too. And I’m okay with it because I have Kerri, and… and my career.”
And you.
But I can’t say those words yet because despite my grand declaration about marrying him, our future isn’t set. I threw it out there to piss off my mother and sister. But when I press my lips to his,oh God, a part of me never wants to let him go. It makes me want forever. That crazy dream of a life together. Of a family and growing old together.
