Um, no.
I love my mother, and I respect the rank, but I can’t—and I won’t—tolerate anyone disrespecting me. Not even her.Especiallynot her. A mother should be a haven. A sanctuary I can run to when the world is cold and cruel. It’s how I plan to be with my future children. What makes it worse is how she wraps her venom in a pretty bow and calls it constructive criticism.
It’s actually a nasty comparison to my older sister, Brianna. I never measured up to her perfection and I never will. Nor do I want to. We’re both content with who we are, much to our mother’s dismay.
But today is a good day. We’re getting along, the sun is shining, and I made a new friend. Thanks to a morning spent reworking the Zefra-D design, what began as a stressful Monday has taken a turn.
I’ve known Jamie Ellis since we were teenagers, but only casually. Then the whole thing happened with her father. Afterward, she disappeared, and Wraith, quite literally, lost his mind for a while because he couldn’t find her. I left before he got his act together and became an Unholy. I carried a heap of guilt for a long time because I didn’t check up on him, either. Same as with Havoc. But then I remembered phones work two ways. He also picked Jester’s side—because of course he would.
They’re besties. I get it. But we were friends, too. We were all friends. I grew up with these guys. They could have at least called me occasionally. Theyshouldhave called. No one did, and that hurt. But it is what it is, and I’m not harboring any ill will. Bros before… Nope, not calling myself that awful word. Let’s just go with the boys stuck together.
Now, Wraith and Jamie are a couple, and it’s impossible not to love her—even if she’s blinding me in her yellow sundress.
“You look like the sun.”
“Thanks.” Jamie does a little twirl, her long brown braid swinging down her scarred back. “I bought it because it was the brightest dress in the store.”
No shit.
I snort-laugh as I pull down a bunch of books off a shelf. Here I was, the nice person, stopping by during a walk while I took a break from work, and somehow, I got sucked into helping with a summer cleaning of the library. “I remember you being shy and hiding behind the ugliest, biggest clothes.”
She shrugs as she dusts. “Beggars aren’t choosers when one dumpster dives for clothing.”
I cringe, her remark bringing back the memory of Wraith beating the shit out of a group of kids who teased her when they caught her doing exactly that one day after school. “I’m glad it worked out for you. Truly. It’s nice to see you happy.”
Jamie’s trauma is worse than most, and she deserves all the happiness in the world. I’m glad she’s found it with Wraith—even if I also wish I could have the same joy for myself. Instead, I’m more lost and alone now than I’ve ever been, and it sucks.
My gaze drifts to my mother, and I want to snatch the broom out of her hands and snap it for no other reason than out of frustration. But, if I’m honest, she’s only fifty percent of the problem. I’m also contributing to our volatile relationship.
My sister plays the game, owning her role as the perfect daughter, wife, and mother. Her bachelor’s in English hangs in her husband’s office on the first floor of their mansion in Brighton’s most affluent neighborhood. The housekeeper even polishes it once a week to keep it nice and shiny, along with all the other useless shit that fills their museum of a house.
She’s living her best life. More power to her. If that’s what makes her happy, I’m no one to judge.
But my mother’s life? No, thank you. She’s miserable, stuck in a town she hates because she’s too scared to leave. That’s what she wants for me, only she wants me to do it in Brighton. Wants me living Brianna’s life, and that’s why I’m always so damn angry with her.
I tried to give my mother what she wants. Even dated a buttoned-up executive for two whole years. The relationship wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t awful. Garrett was a decent man. Just bland. A single scoop of vanilla ice cream when I craved a decadent sundae dripping with hot fudge. But he tried, and he was super sweet. We parted ways on good terms, and he is getting married in a few months. My mother blamed me for the collapse of that relationship. Same as she blames me for why I “ruined” my life in Brighton.
“Want to talk about it?”
Jamie’s question pulls me out of my thoughts, and I’m sorry, but I gape at her as if she’s speaking an alien language. “Excuse me?”
Jamie’s gaze shifts between my mother and me. “I know unresolved issues when I see them.” Her expression is painfully sympathetic, and it hits me in the heart. “I’m a good listener if you need a friend.”
I turn my back on my mother, who is far enough away that she can’t hear our hushed conversation. “To put it nicely, Olivia has a favorite daughter, and it’s not me.”
Jamie stops dusting and gives me her full attention. “You don’t know that.”
“Trust me, I do,” I counter with a smirk. “Give it time, and you’ll hear how I broke her heart when I quit my job at Davenport Trading to move back to Mayhem.”
Jamie grimaces. “Yep, already heard all about it.”
“See?”
“But are you happy?”
“Trying to get there,” I admit.
She studies me, and it’s a struggle not to cringe under her scrutiny because her eyes seem to see straight through me—right to my soul. “Then don’t worry about anyone else, because if I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t please everyone.”
