That was definitely a new way for us to end an argument. Ward’s huge smile spread across his face as they disappeared. I didn’t worry about either of them as I sank into awareness of my body and checked if I still had all my fingers, toes and bones. I didn’t bother with my soul. That had already left the building after years of trying to fill it in all the worst ways.
Deep breath, adjust my chakras into alignment, send energy into my spine, my limbs, my fingers. Now, the tips streaked black when I did any energy work. I decided it didn’t freak me out and that it was a sign ofme finally tapping into my witch powers. I just wasn’t sure how.
I stood straightening my woven mat, ignoring the claw holes in it. Another deep breath. I opened the leather pouch I had made that connected directly to my store of crystals and herbs. It was much faster than drawing a sigil and activating it every time. Black tourmaline came into my hand. It was just what I needed. Protection, grounding, strength, channeling through its blocky, black chunks, replacing anxiety, negative thoughts and feelings of unworthiness.
I worked with my mentor, Rue, for most of my young life doing just this thing - using witchcraft to channel intent, but it never felt like this. The stone drained the negative thoughts away and sent my awareness into the Land below me. Had she been teaching me wrong all those years or was I finally ready to use it? I refused to think it might have anything to do with Rat Face, my secret nickname for Noth. If he gave me a stupid name, I could give him one too.
He also added a little spice to my stretching routine because there was no way I had let go of that night in his room. Without Evie, I continued my new training for Mission: Wipe Rat Face Off The Face of the Harrowlands. After three months, I thought I was getting pretty good. I took the short sticks out of my loose pants pocket and wrapped my calloused hands around them. Most of the book’s instructions came back to me from memory, and Iwas determined to learn these forms as I did my stretches for balance, concentration and control. Seducing Noth hadn’t gotten him dead, so I would take a more traditional approach. I was already in pretty good shape. How hard could it be to learn real knife work?
I arched my stick above my head, reversing my grip on the other so they both pointed in the same direction. Determination filled every part of me. I imagined them daggers and hoped I was sinking them into that Elf’s flesh. Moving through one form and then the next took all my concentration. Learning from a book was difficult, but I had to prepare for the next murder attempt. I would not get a second chance at surprising that asshole. And he deserved to be as dead as I could make him.
I still couldn’t close my eyes without seeing Rue’s blood all over her cottage floor. My sister could keep her Fated Mate. Fate brought memy revenge when it put Noth and I together. It didn’t matter that killing Noth wasn’t something Rue would have approved of. Oh, she would have couched it in terms of the rebound on my magic, my soul, but she would disapprove nonetheless. But Fate had all but decreed it.
I sliced through the air with my stick, using my hips to snap into the turn. Rue was my everything growing up. The one person who turned my rage into something positive. Every hookup I used to soothe the pain of her death was a pale comparison to what she taught me. After all these years of trying to summon it, tapping into my magicseemed fruitless. If I would never be a proper witch, maybe I could be a real killer. Noth’s impending murder made me feel alive for the first time in a long time. Now I just had to finish the job.
I moved through the forms until my arms trembled, and the sun rose high in the sky. I flopped back down on my mat into corpse position, slowing my galloping heart, stuffing the anger back down into any semblance of serenity.
My emotions were at least contained enough to wash up, change and find Emrys, the local bartender at Bar None. Running away into the woods to collect herbs together was a fine way to spend the rest of the day.
“I’m grateful you convinced me to do this,” she replied with her usual amiable smile.
She touched the leaves above us as if they nourished her. The dappled sunlight and hushed quiet didn’t settle me.
“Don’t get too excited. It’s nothing.” I realized that sounded prickly, but Rat Face was still on my mind, and he soured everything.
Instead of being insulted, Emrys linked arms with me as we wandered further into the woods. I was so glad that Evie’s birthday had expanded our friend circle out of our tiny human village and into the greater Harrowlands. Since the Elves kept us secret for their own purposes, we hadn’t met many of the other monsters of our own realm. Emrys was a keeper, even if she was aDruid.
“This one?” I pointed at the fuzzy purple bloom with pointed leaves, keeping my hand a safe distance away.
Emrys looked over. “Soft Shadowblow. I wouldn’t recommend touching that one. It's a peaceful death, but you would still be dead.”
Even the plants differed from those found around Rue’s cottage.
I picked some pods off a long-leafed plant. That felt right. Herbs were basic witch magic even I could do.
“This?” I asked Emrys.
“Cardamom,” she said.
I almost dropped the pods. That we had in our village. Rue handed it out often enough for lust, love, and fidelity. She told the people who came for it; it sweetened the personality. I was doing just fine with mine.
“I don’t know why you bother with that trash. It will only get you in trouble.”
Emrys quirked a smile at me, unbothered by my curt response.
“If you don’t want them, I’ll take them. One man’s trash is another woman’s date with an orc.” Emrys popped the last ‘c’.
Her smile grew wide and cheeky. The sparkle in her eye was an appropriate way to approach sex. Not the all-consuming, blackout hunger I seemed to have. That scared every one of my partners… well, except the Elf. But that remained too tangled up in my trying to kill him to be anything real. Emrys’ teasing demanded a light response. They came harder and harder since my frustrating encounter with Noth. Every day he was alive made me feel more like a failure.
Everything was fine. I reminded myself. I could interact with another being without getting angry for unreasonable reasons, right?
“Sounds like a wild ride. Does everything fit?”
“If you put your mind to it,” Emrys replied with a chuckle.
Maybe that’s what I needed. Something to put my mind to. I laughed with her, and we headed back up to the Keep with our harvest.
Entering the steamy kitchens, I found Fallon hard at work making dinner. Emrys headed straight for her orc, cardamom in hand. Noise and wonderful aromas battled with the sound of smashing cleavers and flickering shadows from the hellfire-like roasting pits. My sister’s best friend had slowly taken over the kitchen, much to everyone’s delight. Fallon shoved a ladle back into the kitchen boy’s hands.
