Rue used to do a version of this spell every morning. It reassured the people in our town that she was prettier, more motherly, or more interested than she really was. The small sigil helped her not make waves. And because I made too many waves, I had lots of practice doing the same with non-magic. Makeup, a smile, a hair flip became my magic to hide the spikes beneath. I worked my body into this acceptable shape so when I couldn’t hide my anger anymore, it was still okay. Illusion, I knew like the back of my hand. I just never had the power to do it like this.
Somehow the frustration around all of this never built inside me. Annoyance, sure. Uncertainty, definitely. But the usual volcano blast of anger I carried around, not to be found. Because I finally had what I had been striving for my entire life. The magic that now filled the deepest part of me became the Harrowland’s greatest channel for every drop of anger and rage I possessed.
“Like this?” I asked. Taking Noth’s form proved ridiculously easy when I drew the sigil on my chest and willed it so. I now knew his face like my own.
Noth and Yaya blinked at me.
“Godds damn, I’m beautiful,” Noth whispered.
That ego remained insufferable in the best way. I let out a long belly laugh, in Noth’s voice, lighter than ever before. If Noth was the missing key to opening my power because we really were mates, I finally saw all my adult frustration in a different light. A cruel Universe hadn’t maliciously blocked me from becoming who I should be. I just hadn’t found the key yet. Evie described the completion she experienced with Ward but I hadn’t understood it–thinking she meant it metaphorically. Every snap at Rue or Evie or Fallon was a shit way to make them pay for my disappointment. They had only ever tried to encourage me and be my friends. Glaringly clear fuck-ups proved easy to see when my power sat on my tongue. I could be normal for the first time ever.
“Can I kiss you?” Noth asked.
I raised his eyebrow. “You want to make out with yourself?”
Noth actually blushed. “I mean. No. Of course not. I want to kiss the you that happens to look like me.” He blinked innocently.
“You know what, maybe you should go and let Brad get you dead and save us all from your ridiculous ass.” The lack of heat in the words made everyone smile.
“All right. All right. No need to be mean.” Noth’s own lack of heat narrowed the world down to just us at the kitchen table.
Our exchanges shifted before my very eyes, in aterrifying, but eye-opening way. Another burst of energy hit with our back and forth, like I could hold this illusion forever.
“If you’re so good at it already, shift into the healer,” Noth said.
I don’t know if he meant to say shift when it was really just an illusion. I would never be a shifter’s mate, not really. The laundry list of my deficiencies proved I didn’t deserve it. Hells, I couldn’t even make up with my own sister. For that alone, Fate would agree with me. This tangle started to cinch around us like a noose.
I drew another sigil on my chest and took on the illusion of the Elven healer. Short, squat, pompous, with a button nose and shrewd eyes.
“Almost,” Yaya said, and drew it again with me so the ears shrank.
So used to seeing Noth’s long, graceful swoops, his ears looked right to me. Yaya lent me a nondescript gown, sash and dagger in the latest Elven style so I didn’t have to maintain that illusion as well. It came with layers I would discard when we made our escape.
Noth fussed over the draping of my clothes, adding his own dagger in a plain sheath to my belt. I didn’t think I had ever seen him so nervous, so it was odd to find myself totally calm.
“Now, you know the plan?”
I glared at him. “Sneak inside. See what’s up. Kill Brad any way I can.”
“And?”
I rolled my eyes. “And don’t get caught.”
“You don’t even remember the most important part of the plan. I’m not letting you do this without me.”
“Okay,” I said and pushed away from him.
“Just let me get my boots on.”
“Sorry,” I said and put my hand on his cheek with a fond caress.
“What?”
I dropped him like a stone with a somunambulous sigil. One of Rue’s favorites for insomnia. Since most of my power fed into the illusion, it would only hold for twenty minutes, but that would give us time to get out of here.
Yaya chuckled. “That’s one way to do it.”
Noth would be mad as a bucket of wet hornets, but they wouldn’t find him here. Too many swords aimed at his throat. Despite the fact that he tried to push me away last night, I would never forgive myself if I didn’t accomplish this for him. I owed him for the murder attempts when he had only tried to do right by Rue. Our little party walked out the door after I slipped a kitchen towel under Noth’s head.
