She squished her hands together in an awkward choking motion. I couldn’t help but laugh at the image, and the oppressive mood lifted slightly with her offer. Even though Mate still didn't sit easy on her tongue, she had the instinct for it. Surely she understood why I didn't like this plan one bit. She was the only one with the power to destroy me and that power grew every day we were together on this quest. How could I not fall hard for her when she gave her all, even if it pointed in the wrong direction? Her sharp wit combined with her hapless stumbling left me defenseless against her.
I shifted my weight, crossing my arms over my chest. “He’s long dead, mate, but I appreciate the offer.”
“Time kills all wounds, I guess,” she said. “Look, this isn’t a grand plan, but I wouldn’t really sell my mate, Ward.” Evie looked up from where I was looming over her and I needed her against me.
I sneered at the flimsy bed. I would fit half myself on that thing. They didn't stick us with one bed; we had no bed. We wouldn’t fit together on the thing, but neither of us would sleep on the floor. I scooped her up and laid down. The cot screamed under my weight.
“This certainly is… cozy.” Evie patted the vile-looking pillow with feinted enthusiasm. “Would you shift your dagger back there?”
That wasn’t my dagger digging into her plump backside and my bear remained too agitated to contain my attraction to her, with Evie’s whiskey and orange scent in my nose. “Betrayal is too easy in the Harrowlands and you thinking we’re Mates by accident hasn’t generated a lot of trust. I don’t understand if Mate is just a word for you. It was hard to tell if you were joking about murdering for me, or if it's what you truly believe.”
Evie stiffened. “I don’t joke about murder, Ward. I would absolutely kill that dick waffle who tried to chain you up.” She tried for a teasing tone to break the tension. “What would convince you I won’t drop you off at the second-hand shop?”
“You on my tongue.” It was out before I tempered it with something playful. My bear chuffed, eager now that we finally agreed.
She paused and turned to face me, almost falling off the cot. “Okay?”
I startled, surprised at myself when I didn’t fall on her instantly. Was this a trick? My feelings tangled, too jumbled up to think straight. “Okay? Is that your version of ‘convincing’ me to go along with this plan? Or that you finally believe we’re mates? I’m going to need something more substantial than one word.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about for now. You’re telling me we work out those things if we try this. So ‘okay’ to having sex on the table, because after we do this once, I’m pretty sure you’re going to be the one dropping me off at Auntie Em’s Used Goods instead. Then maybe we won’t need a plan or a mate bond, because this quest and any sort of destined love will be over.”
What was she talking about? I would never abandon her. If she trusted me, I would be willing to trust her. Her steady gaze said she seriously thought we would be over if we had sex. “Is that what that human told you? The one I need to kill.”
Evie cringed so hard she almost fell off the cot again. A hand on her back steadied her.
“I know it’s not the same, but when they came for you with a collar and a chain, they came for me with words to do the same. No one ever discussed it outright. That’s not how it worked. But everyone in the village knew you just took the life handed to you. You kept your head down. You accepted whatever came your way because there was no other way.”
Humans and monsters weren’t so different in this.
“That asshole never hit me. He wasn’t a drunk. Mean sometimes, and he always pressed me smaller and smaller, but what did I have to complain about? He was a catch by village standards. No one cared that he didn’t love me. All of that got tangled up every time we had sex, which I admit dwindled into never,” she said.
My heart squeezed hard in my chest.
“Mate. Evie.” I buried my face in her hair, working to regain my equilibrium. “There is no half loving you for me. I have been patiently keeping the burn of a thousand suns from your view, so I didn’t scare you any more than I already have. The fibers of my soul shake with longing for you. I want you to take up as much space as you can, so I can, too. Please, please let me worship you as you deserve.”
“Okay,” she said against my chest, but instead of a question, this time it was a statement.
We were doing this. I would prove to her she deserved better than a grey life. My bear was done waiting. We had her permission. I asked her to try and here she was, in all her glory before me, trying to meet me halfway.
I sat up, and one of the cot’s legs broke under my weight. Evie flew back in a tangle of limbs. It only made it easier to lower myself to the floor in the narrow space between the cot and the wall and arrange her at the correct angle.
“I never want to hear you say you deserve less than everything.” Steadying her on the broken cot, I laid her flat on her back, holding myself above her. “Only good girls get licks. Understand me?”
She attempted a word that sounded like ‘yes’. Her face flushed as I placed my hands on her ankles. “Do you know what I love most about these kaftans?”
Evie shook her head ‘no’. I was going to have to unglue her tongue from the roof of her mouth with my own.
“You don’t have to wear anything underneath them.” I slid my hands up her legs so I could nestle between them without the acres of fabric in the way and leaned down to get to work on her stuck tongue. She reached up and hit the bridge of my nose with her own, all her finesse when we kissed on my horse gone. Threading my hands through her hair, I brought her back to my mouth gently, unprepared when she surged forward and clicked our teeth together.
I pulled back, a slight smile on my face. Nerves shook through her body. Her face turned an unhealthy shade of red.
“Breathe, Evie,” I said.
Her gulping inhale was so cute. “I don’t know what to do with my hands,” she blurted out.
“You did just fine on the horse—put them there again.”
Evie wrapped her hands in the straps holding my various pockets and holsters like they were a lifeline.
