Fear and shock and betrayal so deep I felt myself split under it.
“Ruby…” I pushed to my feet, heart punching against my ribs as words, for the first time in my fucking life, deserted me.
As she stepped back, and the cold in her eyes hollowed me out.
“Just tell me one thing,” she said quietly, her voice trembling, steady, fierce all at once. “Did you plan it right from the beginning? Or when it dawned on you that I was the one woman who might be strong enough to walk away from you?”
The words hit harder than the diagnosis.
Harder than the rages.
Harder than anything I’d survived before.
I swallow, because lying would only make this worse. I’ve never lied to her. Not verbally. The sins were in the silences. In the rabid longing and the secret scheming.
“Ruby…” I take a slow breath, hands open, palms visible, as if that can make any difference now. “I didn’t plan it from the start. I didn’t even think about it when we met. But once I knew…once I felt—” My voice breaks, too raw. “Once I realized what you were to me, I couldn’t let the chance slip.”
Her jaw tightens.
“Definechance,” she says sharply. “Because I already know the answer, but I want to hear you say it.”
Heat crawls up the back of my neck. Shame, yes, but not regret. Never regret.
“I tracked your cycle,” I say quietly.
Her eyes flash, wet and bright. “I know that already. I saw you do it, but I thought…” She shakes her head. “What else?” she whispers fiercely.
I inhale again, deeper this time, bracing myself. “I sabotaged your pills in Vegas.”
A broken, incredulous laugh escapes her. “Jesus. And?” she pushes.
I drag a hand through my hair. “And then I had them replaced with vitamins in Colorado.”
“The blood in London?”
Fuck. “He insists on it with new clients but…yeah, he would’ve done the tattoo without it. I…needed it.”
She pales and sways on her feet.
I lunge for her but she shrinks back and fuck…she should stab me right now. It would be less agony.
“So…you developing a breeding kink and suddenly want to warm your cock inside me while I slept? It was all part of the grand plan to knock me up?”
I wince at the acid in her voice. “I… didn’t lie about the way I like falling asleep inside you. It calms me.” My voice cracks again. “And I did think, if it happened, if it was meant to—then it would be the best thing that ever happened to me. To us.”
Ruby’s hysterical laughter breaks open like glass shattering on tile.
“Meant to?” she chokes out. “Are you insane? You sabotaged my contraception and then you’re calling it meant to?”
“Baby—”
“Don’t you dare ‘baby’ me. And don’t you dare pretend this was fate. This wasyou. Your control issues. Your obsession. Your—your—” She can’t get the words out. “Just admit it. Admit every last thing.”
“I did,” I say simply. “Because I don’t want there to be secrets between us.”
Her laughter stops. Instantly. Like a blade to the throat. “Oh my God,” she whispers. “You have the audacity to say that to me? After everything you’ve done behind my back?”
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” I say, desperate now. “I wasn’t trying to trap you. I love you. I need you. I want a future with you and?—”
