“Alright,” I said.
I had to be certain of this. If I confessed this to Finn, there was no going back from it. And even though I was relatively confident he wouldn’t tell Marshall or Smith, there was no way of being positive.
“Out with it, brother,” he demanded, hooking his pinky around mine and kissing his thumb.
I pressed my lips against my thumb to seal the promise, then as quietly as I could manage while still getting the words out, I told Finn the story of how Lincoln and I met.
CHAPTER 29
LINCOLN
“It’s just his preference,” I told myself, standing in front of the brand new toothbrushes in the drug store. “It’s just a toothbrush.”
What was the harm in leaving a toothbrush at Hunter’s apartment? It would make staying over a little more convenient, and it was also something I wouldn’t mind throwing away or losing when things inevitably went south between us. But also…would things go bad between us? He’d basically ordered me to bring a toothbrush over, what would stop him from ordering me to stay if I wanted to go? And not like wanting to go in athis situation is toxickind of way, but in aself-preservationkind of way.
Pinching the bridge of my nose with one hand, I dug my cell phone out of my front pocket with the other and did the only thing that had ever made sense in my life. I called my best friend. And even though he was at work, he answered on the second ring.
“Hey!” Silas’s voice carried genuine happiness.
“Hi.” Mine did not.
“What’s up? Are you okay?”
“Uhm, yes and no,” I admitted. “I’m trying to pick out a toothbrush to keep at Hunter’s, and it’s harder than I thought.”
“To…pick a…toothbrush?”
“The other part,” I said.
“Oh.Oh.” Silas hummed thoughtfully. “To leave at Hunter’s.”
“Ding. Ding.”
Unable to look at the toiletries for a minute longer, I walked over to the pharmacy and flung myself down in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in their waiting area, phone still pressed against my face.
“It’s serious with him then?” Silas asked.
“He loves me.”
“Aww. I love that, Linc. You deserve that.”
The lie twisted violently around my ribs, and I screwed my eyes closed. “Do I, though?”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“WhywouldI?” I shot back. “There’s…I don’t know, Silas. There’s a lot that’s been going on. A lot happening with me and him that you don’t even know about. So you can’t really say that.”
There was a biting silence, and I replayed what I’d just said to my best friend, hating every scathing word of it.
“Does Smith know?” Silas asked calmly. “Should you call him?”
“Jealous much?”
He sighed, sounding like Marshall in my ear. “I just want to make sure you have the support you need.”
The idea was honestly laughable, considering the support I needed had moved out of our apartment and into his boyfriend’s bougie house. The support I needed had essentially forced me into a studio apartment so he could live his best life, and I’d encouraged it every step of the way. Patron saint of self-sacrifice or something much fucking worse.
“I shouldn’t have called,” I said, disconnecting before Silas could argue with me.
