It had been naive of me to think that telling Henny about my relationship with Colin was going to be the scariest part of my night. I turned, rooted in place, to find Grayson and Colin together in the kitchen, facing off with Miles and Hendrix. Between my brother and his boyfriend stood my former best friend, looking every bit the same as he had the night he kissed me.
Grayson and Colin both glanced in my direction, and David’s head quickly swiveled to follow their stares. When he saw me, his mouth flashed into the smallest smile before it fell away. I couldn’t see his eyes, obscured by the brim of his hat and casting the top half of his face into shadow.
“It’s fine,” I said to myself, forcing my feet to carry me across the room toward them.
Before I reached David, Hendrix stepped in front of me, smiling like he’d done me a favor.
“Happy birthday, Wes.”
“What’s this all about?” I asked, desperate to reach for Colin. I needed him, needed his strength and his assurance. But it was too much in that moment and my feet had already carried me so far.
Grayson cleared his throat and Colin broke away from him, coming around the group to stand beside me. He stopped short of touching me and I reached for him, grabbing his hand before I floated away.
How was it possible to feel so rooted and so light at the same time?
“Shit,” Miles cursed under his breath.
“What’sthisabout?” Hendrix pointed at our joined hands.
“Wes.” David’s voice broke out above the siren wailing in my ears. My palm slipped against Colin’s hand and he squeezed me tighter.
“What are you doing here?”
“You weren’t answering my calls.”
“So you flew to California?” I asked, still not understanding what had brought him to my doorstep.
“Your brother invited me,” David said, glancing at Henny, who was still very focused on Colin’s and my hands. “To surprise you for your birthday.”
“And you didn’t think to say, ‘Hey, Hendrix, thanks for the invite, but it’s been months since Wes and I’ve talked to each other?’”
“What?”
There was my brother, finally putting it all together.
“Can we go talk somewhere in private?” David asked.
“I’ll be fine,” Colin whispered, leaning toward me.
“Are you sure?”
He nodded and moved like he was going to kiss my forehead, but he stopped himself, giving me a tight smile instead. It didn’t reach his eyes, and his stare tried to split itself between me and David.
“They’ll be fine,” Grayson said, stepping between Colin and my brother. “Cross my heart.”
Only at Grayson’s word did Colin let go of my hand.
I didn’t want to take David to my bedroom, but there wasn’t any other private place to go besides outside. Even in the hallway, we ran the risk of being overheard by anyone inside the apartment or other friends of Grayson’s.
“Do you want to go down to the beach?” I asked.
He took his hat off and fixed his hair before setting the hat back onto his head. It was a nervous habit of his, something he picked up when he’d been a teenager playing baseball in the humid Brixton summers.“Sure.”
“Alright.” I pointed toward the door and David headed back to the elevators. I went behind him, only after I felt confident that Grayson was going to be able to play mediator between Colin and my brother while I was gone.
David didn’t say a word until we were out of the building and across the street. I stopped on the sandy sidewalk to take off my shoes and socks, and he did the same, following me toward the shoreline. It was dark and brisk out, the sun had long ago set, and I collapsed down onto my ass with anoomph. I still had my beer with me, so I buried the base of the bottle into the sand and waited for David to sit.
“So.” He cleared his throat and kicked some sand away from his feet. “You are gay after all.”
