I knew if I was a parent, I’d want my child to feel comfortable sharing things with me, but that was rich considering the secret I’d been keeping from my parents for the past eight years. Wesley squinted at me, eyes focused on the movements of my face, like he didn’t quite believe me but also didn’t want to argue.
I wondered if it would be easier to come out to them as a hypothetical or to drop the bomb of Wesley on them at the same time. Either way, their first thought would be I was having a midlife crisis, that much I knew. Not only would they think my coming out was out of nowhere—which it wasn’t—but they’d look at Wesley’s age and question my sanity. The attraction to men I figured I could manage, even if I didn’t want to, but I didn’t know how to explain things between us to them.
“Did you have plans today?” I asked, not wanting my brain to go down the dark road it had started on.
“Not really. I should call my parents, but I was going to see if Grayson wanted to hang out. I haven’t been spending a lot of time with him since you and I started…you know.”
“Yeah.” I thought about Henry and how long it had been since he and I talked about anything more substantial than the weather or work.
“Can I ask you a question that’s going to sound really messed up, but I don’t mean it that way?”
I laughed, scrubbing a hand down my face. “With an opening like that, sure.”
“Besides my brother, do you have friends?”
“Wow.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet, ready to pay our bill and get away from the conversation.
“I didn’t mean it bad.” He scampered out of his seat and came to the other side of the booth, smashing himself in next to me. “I only have Grayson, and I’ve never heard you talk about anyone, so I was just asking.”
“I had more friends when I was younger, but it’s really just my friend Henry and then your brother.”
“Henry and Henny.”
“I’ve known Henry for a long time, but things between us shifted and it doesn’t feel as close as it used to be.”
“I’m sorry,” Wesley said, dropping his forehead against my shoulder. I slid my arm around him, mussing up the back of his hair. He hummed, rubbing against me like he wanted more affection. I hated to keep comparing him to a dog, but he really was the human embodiment of a golden retriever.
“My own doing,” I said.
“And his.” He looked up. “It takes two.”
“Are you thinking about things with David?” My hand slipped down his neck, lower down his spine until I swirled a soft circle at the small of his back.
“I don’t know what to say to him,” he whispered. “But I know I have to say something.”
“Well.” I kissed the top of his head. “Your birthday is in a few weeks, and like Grayson kind of says, maybe you’ll know when you’re older.”
Wesley glanced around and surged forward, pressing our mouths together in a chaste and quick closed-mouth kiss. When he pulled back, his face was bright, pupils dilated, scanning my face for a reaction. The public display of affection had been unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome, and I let a soft puff of breath out of my mouth, lips barely parted. He leaned in again, slower and more measured this time.
When our lips connected, his tongue dipped inside. It wasn’t lewd or inappropriate. The kiss was soft and tender, still quick. Too quick. He licked his lips as he ended the kiss, the blue of his eyes almost fully obscured by his pupils.
“Here’s to getting older,” he said softly, coming in for another kiss.
CHAPTERNINETEEN
Wesley
I’d been homefrom breakfast for two hours by the time Grayson stumbled out of his bedroom. Or maybe it had been the other room, I wasn’t sure. But I did my best to not stare while he walked his overnight guest to the door. They didn’t exchange any words, they barely touched, and I was pretty sure there wasn’t even a kiss goodbye. I didn’t say a word either, and I wasn’t positive Grayson had even seen me until he stopped halfway back toward his hallway and shook out his hair, running his fingers through it until it stopped falling into his face.
“Do you want to get breakfast?” he asked.
“It’s lunch.”
“Do you want to get lunch?”
I shifted my weight on the couch, stretching my legs out and letting them hang off the arm. I’d been staring out the window since I’d gotten home and the view, while beautiful, had gotten boring. The ceiling was a pleasurable change of pace.
“Sure,” I said.
