Page 96 of Necessary Space


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“I don’t want to stay in Brixton,” Wes muttered, the fight leaving him. His shoulders sagged and he slid onto his back, closing his eyes with a sigh. He’d worked through his list of counter-arguments, none of them finding purchase, so he settled back on the heart of the matter. He was ready to leave.

Just like I’d been.

“I have to move,” I said to him.

“Even if you go back home, I’m staying.” He finally looked at me, turning his head at an angle until he caught my stare. His eyes were red-rimmed, and it looked like he’d been crying, or was at least close.

“This place is a corporate rental, Wes, and my time is up. I have to find another place and California isn’t cheap. I don’t want to pay for a two bedroom if I don’t need one, and you don’t even have a job. You don’t have a degree…”

I trailed off, letting the truth of the matter hover in the space between us.

“Grayson said we could get an apartment together.”

I sucked in a breath, almost a laugh. “Grayson lives with Miles.”

“And Miles is in love with you. Do you think that living situation is going to last forever?”

“It’s going to last for now,” I said, even though as the words left my mouth, they tasted like a lie. “Miles and I haven’t been together long enough to talk about moving in.”

“Well, Grayson says it’s good to be a man of action.”

“What does that even mean?”

My brother pushed himself off the ground, this time mirroring my pose and crossing his legs. He scooted closer to me, our shoulders almost touching. He was so much smaller than me in so many ways. So much younger and less experienced.

“He knows he can’t live with Miles forever, so he’s not going to wait until Miles says it’s time. He’s going to do it whenhesays it’s time.” Wesley nodded, like he was repeating a script.

“And is that what you’re doing with David?” I asked. “With Brixton?”

He let out a long breath. “You’re the worst listener.”

“What?”

“I told you I don’t want to stay in Brixton,” he repeated. “That’s why I’m leaving. The reasons don’t matter.”

“Mom seems to disagree.” At that, Wes tensed, but he had to know the truth. “You’re going to have to call her. She knows about school and you have to tell her about the rest.”

“She’s so unreasonable.”

“She loves you.” I rolled forward onto my knees, then I pushed up onto my feet. “Can we go inside, though? I am too old for all this kneeling.”

A flash of a memory whipped through my brain, reminding me just how untrue my statement had been.

Wesley stood up and followed me into the house, leaving the slider open as he took a seat at the dining room table.

“I’ll help you with Mom,” I offered, taking the seat beside him.

Wes’s head snapped around, wide eyes radiating all the shock I knew the comment had made him feel.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, thank God.” He cradled his face in his hands. “I had no idea what to say to her.”

“I don’t either, but we’ll figure it out. In the meantime, you can be as much of an adult as you think you are, but you have to tell me about this hare-brained idea you and Grayson have come up with.”

I didn’t love the idea of my brother and Grayson being friends, let alone living together. But it was impossible to deny there was some kind of—hopefully platonic—chemistry between them. Come to think of it, I didn’t even know if my brother liked men or women, or both, or everyone. It wasn’t anything I really wanted to talk to him about, but considering he didn’t know what poppers were, I figured I had a little bit more time.