Slowly, Ben dragged his fingers down, Thomas’s lower lip popping free once Ben reached his chin. Thomas arched his head back, putting his throat on display for Ben to continue his slide. He didn’t understand how Ben always made him so hard, how Ben knew the things to say, the ways to touch him. He wondered sometimes how his life might have been if he’d met Ben in high school instead of Jennifer. But he wasn’t a fool. It was different then, and in his heart he knew he had Ben now because that’s what he needed.
They got out of bed together, spending much more time than necessary in the shower to appreciate each other’s bodies. Thomas dried Ben off, paying extra attention to his balls and spending some time to use his mouth and ensure they were properly emptied for the drive home. With the taste of Ben’s release still fresh on his tongue, he packed up his bags and waited for the small coffee pot on the desk to brew him a cup for the road. Ben loaded up their things, and Thomas joined him around the back of the car, giving the tent one last look before climbing into the passenger seat.
“This was an amazing birthday,” he said, leaning over the console and giving Ben a kiss. “And the best divorce day I could have asked for.”
Ben huffed out a small laugh and turned the car on. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“You know…” He leaned back against the headrest as Ben started them on the long drive home. “I’ve never been big on vacations, but I think I’d like to be now.”
“Oh? Is that so?”
“Yeah. I want to…even if things don’t work out with us, I want to keep doing it,” he said quietly.
“That’s a little bleak.”
“I’m trying to be realistic.”
“Are you still expecting me to cut and run?” Ben asked.
“No. I just wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
“Please stop.” Ben’s fingers gripped the steering wheel and he frowned, looking over at Thomas. “I love you. Iloveyou, and that’s not a casual thing and it’s not something I’m going to wake up one morning and have outgrown.”
He exhaled, scrubbing a hand down his face and giving Ben an apologetic nod. “You’re right. I know and I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me to say.”
“It wasn’t.”
“When we get home, would you be up for dinner with Kenzie tonight?” he asked.
Ben chuckled. “Horrible segue you made right there.”
He shrugged helplessly.
“But yes,” Ben said, “I’d love to meet your daughter.”
They settled in, with Thomas picking the music this time. The four hour drive went by faster on the way home, and for as excited as he was to introduce Ben fully into his day-to-day life, he immediately missed the seclusion—and fantasy—the vacation had allowed them.
Ben dropped him off at home with a lingering kiss and the promise to return at five, and Thomas texted Kenzie with dinner reservations and an address. She sent him back four different kinds of smiling emojis, so he took that as a win. He used the downtime to catch a distraction-free shower, then he watered his plants and putzed around the apartment until it was time to get ready. Thomas found he was lonely, not in the conventional sense, but in the…he wanted to be able to tell someone about Ben. He wanted someone who could share in his excitement over his new relationship, over his new understanding of himself.
He collapsed onto the couch with a beer, scrolling through the long abandoned contact list in his phone, trying to think about which husband of Jennifer’s friends would be the best for him to reach out to again. Every name gave him a dead end, and with a sigh, he gave up. Instead, he texted Ben and said he could come over whenever he was ready.
Ben landed on his doormat ten minutes later, face flushed like he’d run the blocks between their apartments and a nervous tension in his shoulders. He looked great, more dressed up than Thomas had ever seen him, in a pair of navy slacks and a short-sleeved, white button-up. He wore a brown belt and brown shoes, and the whole outfit put together only served to emphasize Ben’s lanky swimmer’s body. Thomas grabbed him by the biceps, stroking down to his elbows and back up again, relishing the feel of his skin.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” he promised unprompted.
“What if she doesn’t like me?” A rare burst of insecurity shone out from Ben’s eyes, and Thomas hated to see it.
“What’s not to like?”
“My age, for one,” Ben offered, and Thomas cut him off with a rough and demanding kiss that had them tumbling out of the apartment and against the far wall.
“None of that,” he begged against Ben’s delicious and willing mouth. “Your age isn’t her problem.”
“If you say so.” Ben nipped his lower lip, smiling and relaxing.
“She’s sharp, like her mother, but she’s not cruel,” he said.
“I trust you.”
