“Make yourself come,” Ben muttered, breaking for air. The pace had turned frenetic, nearly frenzied, and Thomas relished watching him lose control that way.
“You,” he demanded, expecting Ben to take him in hand.
Instead, Ben pulled away from him, raising up onto his knees and spreading Thomas’s legs wider. It let him slide deeper, and Thomas grunted, the penetration still stretching and burning, just now in untouched parts of him. Ben shifted the angle and, with one sharp snap of his hips, forced the head of his cock against Thomas’s prostate. Once he found it, his focus narrowed, and Thomas watched the way his muscles tightened. Ben’s attention was concentrated on the short and rough thrusts required to milk the cum out of Thomas’s balls.
It didn’t take long, and Thomas came like that for the first time—with another man’s cock in his body and his hands tangled in the mess they’d made of his bed. He cried out, and Ben rolled his head back, finally faltering as his own orgasm crashed into him. Ben buried himself and stilled, hot jets of his cum spurting as his cock jerked against Thomas’s channel.
Ben cleared his throat with a low grunt and fell forward, body still seizing from the effects of his orgasm. He made a fist around Thomas’s cock and milked the rest of his cum out and onto his stomach; then he gathered it on his fingers and smeared it over his lips. Thomas had never seen Ben like that before, dirty and debauched, and absolutely gone with want.
“Ben,” he whispered.
Ben bit his cum-stained lip between his teeth and shook his head.
“Benjamin,” he said, and Ben fell forward, their foreheads once again coming together.
“Thomas.”
He wrapped a hand around the back of Ben’s sweaty neck and closed the rest of the space between them, licking his cum from Ben’s lips with a satisfied moan that had Ben’s cock pulsing inside of him yet again.
“I love how it feels when you come,” he said.
Ben shuddered, his entire body trembling as he reached down and ever so gently eased his dick out of Thomas’s body. Again, his hole gaped and puckered, willing him to chase after the need to be filled again, but instead he tightened his hold on Ben and rolled them both onto their sides.
Ben raised his shaking hands up and traced the lines of Thomas’s face, and Thomas wondered what Ben saw. When he looked in the mirror, Thomas saw an old man, a lonely man. He saw a man who had no right pursuing someone as young or handsome as Ben, but he also saw a man who didn’t care.
“Thomas.” Ben’s brows knit together like there was something terrible he wanted to say. He braced himself, but Ben shook his head and instead gave him a gentle smile.
“What were you going to say?”
Ben continued to draw soft shapes and swirls up the angles of his jaw and cheekbones, moving and kissing all of the places his fingers touched.
“Thank you,” Ben whispered. “I wanted to say thank you.”
“That’s not it.”
“I’m not ready.” Ben’s cheeks burned red and Thomas moved his head so he could kiss the tips of Ben’s shaking fingers. It was three words that might as well have been three other words, and Thomas understood the fear in Ben’s eyes because he felt it too.
“I’m not ready either,” he said, a confirmation and a promise for the future all in one.
“Okay.” Ben nodded, his lashes fluttering as Thomas sucked one of his fingers into his mouth, his other hand dragging down between their cum-slick stomachs and reaching for Thomas’s still hard cock. “Good. We’re on the same page, then.”
“We are, Benjamin.” He sighed as Ben made a fist around his length. “We very much are.”
CHAPTER23
BEN
Ben scrunched his nose,watching Lara move around her ridiculous all white kitchen with a practiced ease. He’d come over because he needed help picking a birthday present for Thomas, but the birthday present needed to be more than a birthday present because it was also a divorce present and maybe it was also a little bit of him feeling closer to admitting—out loud—that he was in love with Thomas.
Time had passed quick, but it never felt fleeting. The moments he and Thomas spent together were solid and real, and each one more monumental than the last. They laughed together, and slept together, and learned more about each other. It had been an honor watching Thomas become more comfortable with the true version of himself, even if the intrusive voice in the back of Ben’s head told him it would pass. Thomas would meet someone else someday, someone closer to his age, someone who shared more life experiences. Ben knew in his heart something would come between them, he just didn’t know when.
“What things does he like?” Lara asked, putting a stack of white plates into one of her white cabinets.
“Plants.” Ben shrugged. “Sex.”
“Not together I hope.”
“No.” He blushed. “He’s still learning a lot about himself. Like who he really is.”
