“The bad one,” he supplied.
Ben nodded. “He came up, and I have mixed feelings about the whole thing, and I was drinking and it’s distracting. That’s all.”
“Do you still want to be with him?” Thomas asked, even though he feared the answer. He shouldn’t have cared if Ben still had interest in his ex because Ben had already said he didn’t have interest in Thomas beyond what they were doing together, so what difference should it make?
“Definitely not.” Ben rolled his eyes like the concept was absurd and something in Thomas’s chest relaxed. “He’s not a good person.”
“I’m glad you’re not with him anymore, then,” he said softly.
“Me too.” Ben set back to work on his gelato and Thomas looked away.
“What’s your ex like?” Ben asked after a few more bites.
“She’s not who I thought she was,” he said.
“In what way?” Ben glanced at him quickly. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t mind.” He leaned back against the uncomfortable square back of the chair, allowing the sharp corners to ground him in the present and remind him who he was and what they were to each other. “She…she wanted everything and offered little in return. I thought that was what I wanted. To provide for a family, but…it felt so one-sided.”
“That sounds as unfulfilling as your job.”
Thomas snorted, rolling his eyes and letting out a long breath. “It was a good life until it wasn’t.”
“Have you always been interested in men?”
“I don’t know,” he said, turning his attention after Ben’s toward the sky. He couldn’t tell if it was coming on a storm or not, but there wasn’t a single star in sight. “I never really thought about it because I had her. She started cheating on me, or I found out she had been, and after that I allowed my mind to wander more than I had before.”
“And it wandered to men?” Ben licked off the last of his gelato and dropped the spoon into the empty bowl. Thomas had barely touched his and it had started to melt around the edges, creating a milky white pool at the bottom of the cup.
“It wandered a lot of places. Men was the only one worth exploring.”
“And you set up a profile on One-Night?”
He nodded and picked a chunk of chocolate cookie out of the melting mess of gelato.
“And I was your first,” Ben said.
“You know you were.”
“I just like hearing it.”
“Is that so?”
Ben smirked, suddenly looking shy. “A bit.”
“What about it do you like the most?” he asked.
“Oh, God.” Ben covered his face with his hands. “Are we doing this?”
He laughed. “Doing what? It’s just a question.”
“It’s exposure.”
“You don’t have to answer,” he said. “I know none of this is part of the deal.”
“The deal.” Ben sighed and stretched his legs out, letting his hands fall together in his lap. “The fucking deal.”
“Is that something else to talk about?”
