The admission had Sebastian blinking Remington into a hazy sort of focus. “Whydidyou dismiss me then?”
“You’ve never been with a man before,” Remington whispered.
“You said that wasn’t an issue.”
“It’s not,” he said, his cheeks flushed crimson. “It’s just…neither have I.”
“What?” Sebastian sputtered, all the fight going out of him. He couldn’t have heard Remington right. There was no way he’d just admitted…
“I’m a virgin,” Remington said.
A laugh ripped out of Sebastian’s throat and the sound hit his ears before he even realized. Remington schooled his expression in what Sebastian was sure had been a long-practiced and perfected look.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean to laugh.”
“Yes, you did.”
“No.” Sebastian took a step, away from the island and toward Remington, who managed to look both confident and petrified at the same time. “It wasn’t… that’s not what I was laughing at.”
“What then?”
“Just the irony,” he answered. “Two virgins.”
“You’re hardly a virgin,” Remington scoffed.
“I’ve never been with a man,” Sebastian reminded. “I don’t think it would really be anything like being with a woman.”
“I couldn’t wager a bet,” Remington rasped, and Sebastian took another step closer.
“So you only said those things, you only told me no…” He took another step. “Because you’re a virgin?”
“Mostly,” Remington admitted, and that would have to be enough for him for now.
“I haven’t done this kind of thing before.” Sebastian gestured between them, the few feet that remained. “The whole being told what to do and doing it thing.”
Remington swallowed, and Sebastian watched the way his throat bobbed, the way his muscles worked and tensed as he stood still as a statue.
“Neither have I.”
Sebastian paused, his thoughts, his brain, his body, every part of him came to a standstill. He could tell by the look on Remington’s face, this was a moment. Much like the exchange at Callahan’s had been a moment. And wasn’t that life? Just a series of moments made up and strung together into something that sometimes made sense, that sometimes didn’t hurt.
If he expressed shock and dismay, he imagined Remington would probably feel the way Sebastian had when he’d gotten home. If he processed those feelings before he reacted, though, maybe that would be enough.
He closed his eyes and inhaled a soft breath through his mouth, opening his eyes after his lungs were full. Sebastian held his stare steady on Remington, who remained unwavering.
“Everybody starts somewhere, right?” he said.
Remington blinked rapidly, tilting his head back and turning his attention toward the ceiling.
“Sebastian,” he mumbled.
“Right?”
“Right,” Remington agreed, dropping his chin to his chest and staring down at their shoes. He worked his jaw, like he was deep in thought, then he looked at Sebastian, head on. “Can we start over?”
“What?”
“Can we start over?” he repeated. “Maybe not from the beginning, but right now.”
