“For now.”
In the pan, the bacon spit and fried. I dropped four slices of bread into the toaster, and after they popped up a perfect golden brown, I stacked the lettuce and tomato on top.
“Do you want to eat at the table or on the couch?” I asked.
“The dining room table or you?”
“You really want to talk about this now? With how tired you are?”
“I’ve had a second wind.” He pushed himself up to a sitting position and watched me lay the bacon strips onto the sandwiches.
“Dining room, then.” I carried the plates to the table and dropped them down, returning to the kitchen to get us both bottles of water before joining Ronan as he took a seat at the head of the table.
“You liked it,” he said, not a question, as he bit into the sandwich.
“I did.”
“A lot.”
My face heated from embarrassment. “Clearly.”
“I didn’t like the rug anyway,” he said, amused.
“What?” I glanced over my shoulder into the living room. I’d loved that rug. I’d had it since I bought the condo, years before I’d even known Ronan’s name.
“It wasn’t you.”
“Oh.” I gave him a look. “I see.”
“What did you like about it, Kevin?”
I didn’t have any more of an answer for him than I did after it happened.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Talk through it.” He bit into his BLT, the crunch of the toast shattering the otherwise still silence in the room.
“It was like…” I picked at my crust. “I was there for your pleasure.”
“Aren’t you always?”
“Yes, well.” Another burning flush blanketed my face. I pressed my fingertips against my cheeks to make sure I wasn’t actually on fire. “It was different. It was like... I don’t know, Ronan. It was like I was a sex toy or something. You were so rough with me, so thoughtless.”
“Was I?”
“You were fucking to get yourself off,” I said.
“Don’t I always?” He popped the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth, watching me intently as he chewed and swallowed. Without breaking our connection, he twisted the top off his water bottle and took a drink.
“Yes, but…” I trailed off, suddenly unsure.
“Do you want me to tell you what I think it was?”
“Please.”
“The buildup,” he said. “The anticipation. You were ignored and objectified not just for me, but all of your friends. You made Rich hard, you know?”
“What?” I rasped.
