“Do you?”
“I think about you more than I should,” he admitted.
He hated how much he thought about Callahan, hated the way Callahan had already embedded himself into Jace’s life and his nights and his mornings, and he hated the way he sometimes forgot that his future most likely didn’t include this man. He’d been steeling himself for Callahan’s departure for weeks, and every breath they spent apart had Jace worrying if the next breath would be the first one without Callahan.
He knew he was being unfair. He knew he was pushing the other man away, while simultaneously judging him for actually going away, but he didn’t know how to not. He didn’t know how to live in the moments he’d been allowed.
“Do you think I’m stubborn?” he asked, scrubbing a hand down his face.
“Very.”
He sighed, muscles weakening. “You can buy me the suit if you want to.”
“Do you want it?” Callahan asked.
“It’s a nice suit,” he conceded.
“But do you want it?”
“Do you want me to have it?” He looked back at Callahan who still held the tie in his fist.
“Do you want it?” Callahan asked again.
There were lots of things Jace wanted. Lots of things he’d wanted in his past that he’d been denied and things he wanted for his future that he knew he’d never be allowed. But maybe Remington was right, and maybe it was okay to take the things he wanted while they were being offered.
“Yes,” he admitted, the fight going out of him.
“Then it’s yours,” Callahan said easily, smiling at him like he’d just hung the moon.
“Thank you,” he rasped, wetness building in the back of his throat.
“Do you want to go get a new phone after we pay?”
The glass of his phone screen cut into his hand and he managed a nod in reply.
“Good. How else would I be able to get ahold of you if not for that?” Callahan took Jace’s face into his hands and kissed him.
“Who knows.”
Callahan pressed the tie into Jace’s hand, then went to the dressing room. He collected the suit and passed it off to the attendant, pointing at a couple other things around the store. The attendant nodded and took the suit to the register before collecting a handful of other ties and matching socks.
Callahan came back to him, taking the tie out of his fist.
“You know this doesn’t change anything, right? Doesn’t change you.” Callahan asked, taking him to the register.
“Doesn’t it?”
Jace didn’t want to get used to lavish things, he didn’t even want to get used to Callahan, but he kept getting glimpses of this man, this soft Callahan who barely existed the night they’d met at Lion. Every day Jace was treated to more and more of that man and hope bloomed in the deepest parts of him.
Maybe this time.
Maybe this person.
Maybe this once.
Chapter Thirty-One
Callahan Finds His Prize
