“That’s fine.” Andy stood up and quickly walked to the kitchen. He set the half drank mug of coffee in the sink and flipped on the tap. Water poured out and flooded the cup, then he slammed it off and turned to face Leonidas with a tight smile on his face.
“Andy.”
“It’s fine,” Andy assured him, gathering up his clothes and getting dressed.
“I don’t want you to go.” Leonidas went to him and knelt in front of him. With a hand on either knee, Leonidas forced Andy’s legs apart and he crowded into the space he made. He looked up at Andy with those dark and glassy eyes like he was silently begging Andy to see reason.
Andy had to look away.
“What do you want, then?” he asked.
“I want you to stay until I go.”
Andy swallowed and looked out the window. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” Leonidas slid his hands up Andy’s legs, up his thighs and inward, dangerously close to his cock.
“I can’t,” he repeated, desperate for his answer to be final. If he stayed, he’d be ruined. It was already going to hurt him, which was ridiculous, but he needed to sever this now. There was a fine line between lust and love and want, and Andy didn’t know which he was feeling. His heart thumped steadily, if not rapidly, and thought it might be love, but his brain knew that was ridiculous, and his cock just…wanted.
“I understand.” Leonidas leaned back on the balls of his feet, his chest bare and smooth in the morning light, then he lowered himself down, hunching over and taking Andy’s shoe laces between his nimble fingers. He laced and tied each of Andy’s sneakers, and Andy sat on his hands to stop himself from reaching for Leonidas.
When Andy’s shoes were tied, Leonidas petted his hands down the tops of Andy’s feet and looked up, a sad smile on his face.
“There you are then, Sir,” Leonidas whispered.
Andy screwed his eyes closed. “Please don’t.”
“Sorry. No.” Leonidas sighed and stood up, looking down at Andy now. “I’m not sorry. I would have to regret you to be sorry, and I don’t. I’m not. Thereissomething about you, but it doesn’t change anything about me.”
“Can’t it?” Andy asked, standing. “Couldn’t it?”
“Kardia mou,” Leonidas said, his voice mournful. Andy still didn’t know what it meant and as soon as he got back to his phone, he was going to look it up and not let it be the death of him.
“You’re right.” Andy side-stepped his way around Leonidas, unable to meet his eye.
“Stop it.” Leonidas’s voice was sharp and tired, and he grabbed Andy by the back of his arm and hauled him to a stop. Andy obliged, but didn’t turn around.
“It’s fine,” Andy said, staring hard at the door, only a few feet away from him now. “I understand, I do.”
“I don’t want things between us to end this way.”
“There isn’t anything between us,” Andy forced the lie out of his mouth, then looked over his shoulder, back at Leonidas. “Is there?”
Leonidas let go of him and took a step back toward the bed. He wasn’t wearing anything more than sweats that barely hung on to his narrow hips in the first place, and he reached down with one hand to haul them up, then he laced his fingers together and stared down at his hands.
“That’s not how I meant it.”
Andy took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, turning fully to face Leonidas for one last time. This was fine. He could do this. He could be strong and brave and salvage this into a memory that would make him smile when he was thousands of miles away from Paris.
“I know. I’m sorry.” Andy plastered a smile onto his face, even if it didn’t reach his eyes, and he stretched his arm out, beckoning for Leonidas to come back to him. “You’re right. It’s fine. Come here and kiss me then, before I go.”
Leonidas looked like he wasn’t sure, but his feet moved him forward, and his palm pressed against Andy’s. It was clammy and hot, and Andy pulled him in and pressed their mouths together before either of them could say another word to ruin the moment. Leonidas’s body was stretched taut, but he loosened slowly, slightly, and he leaned into Andy, opening his mouth and letting Andy’s tongue dip inside.
Andy kissed him like it was the first time and the last time, and it somehow felt like both to him and he didn’t understand how saying goodbye could taste so sweet. He kissed Leonidas until his eyes were wet with tears he didn’t want to fall, but he couldn’t tear himself away from Leonidas’s hooded, heavy stare.
“Close your eyes,” he whispered the plea against Leonidas’s lips. “Close your eyes.”
Leonidas’s long black lashes fluttered closed, and Andy pressed one last kiss against his mouth before he stepped away. He took a brief look around the flat, a longer look at the half-naked man he was desperate for, then he bit his lips between his teeth so he didn’t say something he would regret and walked out the door.
