“To what?”
“I didn’t plan to ever tell you this, but I need you to know what happened.”
I shake my head. “I don’t…”
“I know you don’t want to know.” He slides his hands up my chest and locks his fingers together behind my neck. I can’t move. He’s so close, I feel his lips move against my mouth when he talks. “But you need to. I need you to understand that you gave me a life I didn’t know existed, and the time I had with you before Franklin were the best days I’ve ever had. But he stole that from me, Ezra. He chained me with silver that ate into my skin. I smelled myself burning while he jerked off when I cried. He had silver rods that he…”
Declan’s eyes glass over and I can’t bear the look I see. His words catch in his throat and tears spill over his lower lashes. I squeeze my eyes closed and shake my head, but he tightens his fingers behind my neck.
“Ezra. Look at me,” he begs.
“Please,” I whisper. I know he lived through that hell, but I’m not strong enough to hear about it. I hate myself for not being able to shoulder his pain for him, but I can’t. Everything that’s ever happened with Declan has been because of a mistake I made that’s had the severest repercussions for him and barely any for me. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Declan, I’m so sorry for all of it.”
Declan kisses me, and it’s not angry or jealous or hurt, just true and pure and when he’s done, he’s smiling at me like I’m not a piece of shit.
“It’s not your fault,” he promises me, dragging our lips together. “None of that is your fault, but if you don’t give us a chance to take our life back…”
Declan wipes my tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and kisses me before rolling over and placing my hand over his heart once more.
“If you don’t give us a chance to take our life back, Ezra,thatwill be your fault.”
Everyone is fine
“Has anyone done it before, though?” I sigh into the receiver and cradle the phone between my face and my shoulder while I lace up my shoes. I’m getting ready to go back to Greenleaf for the council meeting and to talk with the head of the Stregorian family. I don’t want to go. Partly because I don’t want to go back to where Declan and I almost died, and partly because the idea of asking Walter Stregorian for any help after no one in his family came to our aid really makes me angry.
“He didn’t say.”
My father is the one who suggested I call Walter and assured me it would be doubly useful considering my new position. I need to ensure the alliance is strong, but if you ask me, the alliance is trash.
“Fine. Thank you for the suggestion.” I grab my keys and sit on the edge of the bed beside Declan, who is reclined and reading one of my books.
“How are you doing, Ezra? How is Declan?” My mother asks into the phone. I hadn’t realized I was on speaker.
“Fine. We’re fine,” I tell her. She has to know it’s a lie. I wouldn’t be asking about sending Declan to an early grave if things were fucking fine.
“Be polite,” my father reminds me and I pull the phone away from my ear and put them on speaker.
“As polite as I can be.”
“Try harder,” he suggests.
“Enjoy your trip. See you soon.” I end the call, ignoring his suggestion. I don’t have false pleasantries for Walter, but I want something from him, so I’ll do my best to keep my displeasure at his lack of support in check. At least until I have what I want.
“How long are you going to be gone for?” Declan glances at me over the top of the book.
“An hour to get there. An hour back. Not sure how long it’ll go, but I’ll be back before sunrise.”
Declan closes the book and shoves his finger between the pages, marking his place. He rests his other hand on my thigh and smiles at me.
“This means a lot to me,” he says softly. “I know you don’t want to do it.”
“I need to assume responsibility and go meet with him anyway.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“I know,” I agree.
It’s been days since the bond was severed. SinceIsevered it, rather. Declan has been distant from me. He promises me he hasn’t been and that it’s the lack of bond making me feel that way. At first, I didn’t believe him, but the longer it goes on, the more I think he’s right, which is why I reached out to my parents to ask them about rebuilding the bond.
