Seeking Surrender
Chaz and Raf
Maybe you'll be the main course
Hot breath hits the back of my neck and I turn around and drag my lips over Rafael’s mouth. His tongue darts out and licks me, so I open up to him with a sigh. The kiss isn’t slow, or calm, or patient. It’s needy, and rough, and demanding. He takes what he wants, and I love that about him. Raf dips his hand into my pants, pushing my pajamas down low enough to expose my cock. I’m already hard because it’s the morning and because his hands are on me and his mouth is still on mine.
“I was thinking,” he whispers, taking my lower lip between his teeth. He bites down and my knees give out. He pushes his chest against mine so my back is against the kitchen counter and he holds me up like that, grinding his teeth together with my lip between them until I taste copper.
“Yeah?”
He breaks the kiss and licks the wound on my lip. I shiver. The room isn’t even cold, but my blood is just too hot whenever he’s around. Coming to California at Aaron and Verity’s request was the best decision I ever made. Raf’s thumb digs into the precum-slick slit of my dick, and I’m so glad to be here, because there’s no one like him in Missouri.
“There’s some things we’ve talked about. Some things you’ve told me.”
I’ve told him lots of things, some of my own free will, others under duress. Consensual duress of course, but I was surprised to find out just how depraved my fantasies actually were. Filthy and fucked up things tumbled out of my mouth when he had me lashed to a St. Andrew’s cross in the alcove at Rapture; even darker and more embarrassing admittances came later, when my cock was so hard I was sure it would burst from desperation; and more perverse even still with my cock in a cage and a fist in my ass.
“You’re shaking,” he whispers in my ear, and I nod.
“What things?” I ask, curious and terrified to know what he’s thinking about.
“I think we should have a housewarming party.”
I laugh.
It’s an unnatural sound that bubbles out of my mouth and it feels wrong considering his hand is still around my dick, but his touch is so light, so slow, I don’t even realize he’s still touching me until he tightens his hold in response to my reaction.
“Okay,” I whisper. My neck hurts, my shoulders. My muscles are tense and I’m wound up and he hasn’t even done anything yet. But that’s his way. That’s what he does, tomeat least, and I’m so thankful for it.
Every day with him is like a new life, a new chance to awaken dark and cobwebbed corners of myself that didn’t dare show themselves until they knew he was here to handle them. To handle me. Like there were these dormant parts of me just waiting for the right person to show up and flip the switch.
And did Raf ever flip the switch.
Over and over.
“I’ll arrange the guest list. I’ll arrange the entire thing.” Raf tucks my cock back into my pajamas and steps away. His hair is all mussed from sleep, but his eyes are alert.
“Everything?” I ask. “The food, the music, whatever?”
Raf’s lips pull into an ominous grin.
“Maybe you’ll be the main course.”
My cock jerks so hard we both see it and look down. There’s a wet spot on the cotton of my pajamas where I’ve leaked. I’m dangerously close to messing myself. If he keeps staring at me, I might end up covered in cum and on my way to a punishment, because while I might have found myself when I came to LA, my body isn’t my own anymore.
It’s his.
I’m his.
“Yeah?” I take a deep breath in through my nose. Thinking about him passing me around between his friends,ourfriends, it’s a lot—maybe it’s too much—but I won’t tell him no, because I want to know what it would be like to please him with my body by offering it up to others. I’m pretty sure other people would think that’s weird, or sick, or fucked up, but I don’t. He doesn’t.
Raf uses me because I want him to. He pushes my limits because it gets him hard to see my face flushed and my ass split open.Sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode out of my skin for how much I love him and how thankful I am to share my life with him. And when it gets too much, he hurts me until I cry and then there’s room inside me to love him some more. And he loves me back with his words and his actions.
He told me once, early on, that everything he did to me was something he didforme, and everything he did for me was done with the intent of earning and deserving my love. And fuck, does he earn it a hundred times over.
“Maybe.” Raf wraps his hand around my throat, and instinctively I tip my head back, exposing my neck to him.
“I have to go to work,” he says, giving me a squeeze before dropping his hand.
