Gregory leaned over and began the arduous process of removing laced up knee-high boots; once he had his feet free, he set his boots to the side of the chair. Landon looked at his socks and Gregory was pretty sure he smiled.
“Did you want to talk more?” Gregory asked after a short silence.
Landon looked up at him, eyebrows raised.
“About before.”
Before at the pizza shop.
Before when we were kids.
Before everything went wrong.
“Not really. Not right now.”
Gregory ran his tongue around his teeth and sucked at them briefly, debating if he truly wanted to ask the next question, but Landon just sat across the room there looking at him, half-scared, half-expectant, and Gregory didn’t know what Landon needed or wanted from him in that moment.
“Then why am I here?”
Landon looked away as though he hoped the answer was painted on a wall across the room. Ed grew tired of the petting and jumped off the couch and exited the room as quietly as he’d shown up, leaving Landon with nothing to do with his hands besides wring them together in silence.
“We have a lot to sort through, I think,” Landon said, still unwilling or unable to look at Gregory. “But I don’t want to do it tonight.”
The air in the room shifted, and Landon squared his shoulders.
“Then why am I here?” Gregory repeated. His voice came out sounding husky, and he cleared his throat.
Landon looked directly at him, eyes blazing, and answered. “Because I need you to be.”
Gregory was up and at Landon’s feet before he even realized it, dropping down onto his knees and curling his fingers around Landon’s thighs. Even through jeans, Gregory could feel the muscles that had grown in his absence.
“Landon,” Gregory coaxed, but Landon was still staring at the couch where Gregory had been sitting. He afforded a small shake of his head, then a tear slipped down his cheek.
“Landon,” he repeated.
“This is stupid.” Landon swiped at his cheeks. “Crying over someone who left me half a lifetime ago.”
Gregory opened his mouth to protest, but snapped it closed, deciding this wasn’t the time or place.
“Stop that,” Gregory said, his voice clearly reflecting this was an order not a request. Landon narrowed his eyes, but made no reply.
“If you want anything from me, Landon, you need to stop acting like I’m the only one who made a shitty decision, alright? If you’re going to keep acting like I’m the only one at fault for what happened when we were kids, I can go. If you want to hash it out, I’m more than willing to do that with you, but if you want to put it off, then this has got to stop right now.”
Gregory flexed his fingers into the muscle of Landon’s thighs after he spoke, and Landon nodded in agreement.
“You’re right,” Landon conceded.
Gregory took a deep breath.
“Landon, listen to me, okay?” He reached up and swiveled Landon’s chin so they were face to face. “I don’t know you like I used to. I don’t know what you need from me.”
“Will you please put me to bed?” Landon asked, his voice small and tired.
Gregory stood and forced an arm under Landon’s knees, hoisting him up like he was a child. Landon swatted at his chest weakly.
“I’m too heavy,” he protested.
“You’re no such thing,” Gregory told him. “Now, settle.”
