The tension left Roland’s shoulders and his grip on Donny’s hips loosened. Donny pressed a kiss against his shoulder and took a step back. His casual smugness from earlier was gone, his face now downcast and tender.
“Do you want me to go?” Donny asked, shoving his hands in his back pockets. Donny was staring intensely at a point on the floor Roland couldn’t find any fault with and he refused to look up at him.
“What?”
Donny glanced up. “The last time you got like this was my birthday. I just figured you would want me to go like before.”
Roland’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline and his mouth opened in shock.
“Go?” He was disbelieving. “Adonis. Donny. I never want you to leave.”
Donny finally looked up, his head cocked to the side in question.
“I want you here with me. Always.”
Donny stepped backward and bumped into the table. He wrapped his fingers around it and Roland saw the white of his knuckles as he gripped the edge.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, stay. Move in. Whatever. I don’t want to wake up another morning without you.”
“You just don’t want me to have anywhere to go when you get like this,” Donny chuckled.
Roland boxed him in. “Even when I get like this, you don’t want to go anywhere anyway, do you?”
Donny shook his head.
“Then don’t.”
Donny raised his hands toward Roland’s chest and flattened them, sliding them down to his abs and around his waist.
“You don’t fix things. But I feel better when I’m around you. I feel more me around you,” Roland admitted, letting go of the table and wrapping his arms around Donny’s shoulders. Donny looked up, then tugged Roland’s hair so he looked down. Their eyes met, and Roland’s breath caught in his throat.
He hoped there wouldn’t ever be a day when he looked at Donny and wasn’t completely awestruck by the vibrant blue of his eyes. Roland swallowed, and lowered his head until their lips met.
“I’m sorry,” Roland murmured. “I know my anger was misdirected earlier. I know it.” He pulled back slightly to ensure Donny could see his face. “I know it, and I tell myself that, but my mind won’t listen. It doesn’t listen.” Roland’s voice climbed up an octave and he felt his body tightening again with tension.
Donny cupped Roland’s cheeks in his hands and silenced him with another kiss. His tongue licked into Roland’s mouth and danced behind the backs of his teeth and he leaned in closer, taking, and taking, and taking whatever Roland would give him.
Donny separated their mouths to take a breath. “Roland, all I’ve ever asked of you is that you try. That’s all I’ll ever ask.” He kissed him again, a chaste and tender connection this time.
“I’m sorry,” Roland muttered, suddenly feeling embarrassed at his earlier outburst. He should know by now Donny loved him, Donny wouldn’t leave him over a bad day. The wars that waged in Roland’s head were no match for the relationship he’d built with Donny. His heart knew that, and unsurprisingly, Donny knew that. Roland just needed to start believing it himself.
“Don’t be,” Donny replied, giving Roland’s waist a squeeze. “Can we paint now?”
Roland stretched behind Donny and grabbed a tube of crimson paint from the back of the work table and headed toward the easel in the corner.
“You’re sure they’re going to like it?”
“Hmn? Sorry. Distracted.” Roland looked over his shoulder and caught Donny blatantly staring at his ass. Donny laughed, “Yes, they’ll like it. Athena promises.”
Roland held a brush out and Donny came to stand beside him to look at the painting they’d been working on— a wedding present for Gabriel and Joel. They hadn’t set a date yet, but Gabriel had promised as soon as Joel decided, it would be done. He didn’t strike Roland as the type to be interested in a long engagement anyway.
He knew Gabriel appreciated art, at least, appreciatedhisart, so a custom painting was the best gift he could think of. Donny had been painting with him for months now, and his technique added a different level of detail to Roland’s more abstract ideas.
Roland had started painting a forest full of red trees, then Donny had come through and created rays of light that burst through the canopy to illuminate the forest floor.
“I’ve been meaning to ask, why did you choose red?” Donny asked.
