“Thanks for breakfast, Theenie. I love you too.”
***
In the bathroom, Joel discarded his shirt with more force than was necessary and shucked his pants off before climbing under the hot spray of the shower. It was hotter than he normally liked, but this time he relished the burn and watched the way his skin turned shades of red as the water cascaded off him. He dropped his head against the shower wall, pounding it a few times for good measure before searching out Athena’s two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. He squirted some into his palm, lathering it up on top of his head, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes to organize his thoughts.
Athena had made some good points, ones Joel was embarrassed to acknowledge. One thing hadn’t changed, and that was that Joel still believed that Gabriel loved him. He’d lied about a lot of things, but the truth of his feelings for Joel were clear as day in his eyes. Gabriel showed it in weird ways, but once it was out in the open, Athena was right… GabrielsawJoel. And he loved Joel differently than anyone else ever had, and most likely ever would.
Joel opened his eyes so he could rinse the shampoo and conditioner off his hands, and blinked the water out of his eyes, realizing the lather in his hands was tinted red. The coloring in his hair had long been neglected. He couldn’t remember the last time his hair had been its natural color. Maybe when he was in high school, there had been a few months when he had been fooling around with Carter that he didn’t color it. But he had thought things were different with Carter. Casual, sure, but he didn’t expect the brush-off in the end. Once Carter disappeared, Joel had resumed coloring his hair. It hurt, when he’d left, and Joel subconsciously made the decision to not open himself to the world like that anymore. Now, at nineteen, Joel wasn’t sure how dying his hair made any bit of difference, because his heart was shattered on the floor of Gabriel's condo, and his hair was still red.
He closed his eyes again, sucking in a deep breath, thinking about how strong he’d felt under Gabriel's gaze. The way Gabriel's fingertips drew lines on Joel's flesh and dug into his hips. To his dismay, his cock started to remember more than Gabriel's hands and plumped up accordingly. Was he going to jerk off in the shower thinking about Gabriel right now?
Let me give you what you need, Little Red.
Yes, he was definitely going to jerk off thinking about Gabriel. He hated himself a little for it, but not enough to stop.
He wrapped his fingers around his shaft, stroking with a firm grip, slick and slippery from the leftover conditioner in his palm. Immediately, his toes curled against the porcelain of the tub and his balls pulled up high and tight. Joel squeezed his eyes shut, feeling pressure welling up as he continued the twist and jerk motions on his dick.
He thought about Gabriel.
He thought about the way Gabriel's tongue had explored inside his ass, and he thought about how strong and beautiful he’d felt when Gabriel had been inside of him. He thought about his tongue dueling with Gabriel's for purchase as they’d kissed through their orgasms. Joel sucked in a breath, resting his head against his other arm on the shower wall, perilously close to coming all over the wall, and then he heard Gabriel's voice in his head, clear as day.
I need you, I fucking need you.
Joel let loose an anguished cry as he came, splattering his release against the shower wall. Simultaneously, a tear slipped down his cheek, then another. He stood straight, releasing his cock to catch his breath.
This was even more fucked up now than two days ago. Joel laughed to himself as he entertained the idea that he was actually going to return to Gabriel. If nothing else, he needed more answers. Joel rinsed his hair, noticing the red-tinged water swirling around his feet.
After he pulled some passably clean clothes from his bag, he walked into the living room. Athena was still at the dining table, now toying with the twine ribbon around a butcher paper wrapped package, which was sitting beside a rumpled manila envelope.
“These came for you…” Her voice trailed off, and she pushed them across the table toward him. Joel approached the table as though the packages were bombs. He had a suspicion of what he would find under the paper on one, but not the other.
He picked up the envelope, pulling out the contents, confusion passing across his face as he read. He let loose an uncharacteristically loud laugh before handing the papers to Athena.
“Did you know my dad was rich? He left me a million-dollar trust, not accessible until I'm twenty. That's why my mom was here.” He started to shake with laughter that was bordering on hysterical. Athena flipped through the packet, placing it on the table as Joel's laughter started to simmer down into a defeated-sounding whimper.
“Are you going to keep the money?” Athena was quiet as she watched Joel from across the table.
“Of course I’m going to keep the fucking money. I deservesomethingafter all this,” Joel grumbled. He reached for the other package and pulled the edge of the twine, unfurling the bow, before he picked at the tape-sealed edge with a damp finger. The wrapping popped open and Joel was faced with the green bound volumes ofLes Misérablesunderneath his brand-new cell phone.
Joel closed his eyes, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.
“There’s a card.” Athena’s voice broke the silence, and Joel saw a small, white note card tucked between the book and his phone. Athena pulled it free and held it out to Joel. He took it from her, seeing handwriting he suspected belonged to Gabriel.
Scrawled across the card, two short lines of text.
You deserve so much more than my kind of love.
I'm sorry, Joel.
Joel wrapped his hand around the card, shoving it in his pocket. “I gotta go to work, Athena.” He glanced at his phone on the table and decided to leave it.
“Sure, Baby J. I’ll see you when you get back.” Athena reached out, squeezing his arm and then letting him go.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Gabriel Tells the Truth
The sun was much too bright for Gabriel's liking, and he found in the late light of day, he still hated himself for what had happened last night. Especially in the light of day. He had become too confident, he recognized that now. While he’d always known that his dedication to stalking Joel was on the institutional side of the crazy line, he hadn’t ever imagined that his whole life would implode as a result of it. He had only meant to follow Joel, make sure that no one took advantage of him, and keep him safe. Then maybe, a few years down the road, there would be a natural way for them to cross paths, and Joel would be none the wiser of his “guardian” angel.
